Walk in my shoes

A new chapter begins :)

2012-02-18T13:48:00.002Z

Hello guys!

It's been a while huh? :)

Do visit my new blog, since this one would be permanently deactivated.

http://stepsofme.blogspot.com/

Much love,

Izzati :)

some things must come to its end.

2011-11-17T05:22:00.008Z

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

I have a confession.

I've made a mistake. A huge one.

i admit it , and i have deleted the previous post due to that.

I am so sorry.Deeply sorry.

well I think some people should not interfere into things that are none of their business

Listening to one side of the story pun tak best jugak.

My writings in this blog have been veryvery personal lately.

This should stop.

I should learn how to keep my anger and dissatisfaction to myself, and express it the right way.

my life has never been this complicated before.

I am turning 23 next year. I should not act like a child and be more professional.

I should do lots of thinking, reflect what I have done, and stop blaming others even though they are wrong.

Nobody is perfect, why could I not accept that.

I guess my to-do- list has become longer now.

I have had enough. I need some time for myself. I need to stop mourning over my 'sad and pathetic' life and be thankful instead.

I was thinking of deleting this blog, but I could not help myself from doing that.

It's not that I am enjoying the attention given by others, but it's the fact that this blog has witnessed many things that have happened in my life. I would love to read all these in the future.

Well, I'm just going to privatise it, instead of deleting it.

I'm gonna keep it public until this weekend I think.

InsyaAllah, when I am back on track I am going to make it public again.

I don't know when but I'm sure Allah S.W.T will help me with this.

I am too fragile now. I'm so scared that I might become the 'old' me once more.

I need someone to tell me that things are gonna be fine.

Sorry once again to all the people that I've hurt.

i am so f****d up.

2011-11-15T22:54:00.004Z

Everything was a mistake.

enough is enough.

Wish me luck :)

The customer is always (most of the time) right! :P

2011-11-12T19:31:00.003Z

I don't know how should I start this entry. Well, to be honest, I kinda disappointed with some people in my life.

Haih.

Orang nak berbisnes, awak nak berbisnes. (I sound like makcikmakcik when I said this! :P )

Actually, I dah banyak kali came across Melayu yang berbusiness, tp kurang mendapat servis yg memuaskan dr mereka. Its not that I nak perlekehkan kaum sendiri, no. But when it comes to this matter, Melayu tak Melayu, kawan tak kawan, sedara tak sedara. ratarata sama je kebanyakkannya.

For example, kalau nak buat baju kurung, kebaya, etc, I memang jenis yang akan hantar tailor. To tell you the truth, I prefer Chinese tailor than Malay tailor. When I was studying in Kedah, there were 2 Malay tailors (Makcik A, Makcik B) and 1 Chinese tailor (Auntie C) dekat area I belajar.

Firstly, I hantar 3 kain dekat Makcik A, 3 months before Raya. She said yes, she can handle it. She even promised me that I can collect all the baju 1 month before raya. So I came back 2 and a half months later to collect my baju, which means lagi 2 weeks nak raya lah kan. Guess what? Plastic which contains all the 3 kain tu pun makcik tu lupa dia letak kat mana. I was soooo pissed off!! Her excuse was, shes been bz with other tempahan and finally admits that she could not siap kan 1 baju pun for me.

Lain kali kan makcik. jangan tamak sangat nak meniaga ni. Kalau rasa tak mampu nak buat semua, cakap je x mampu. Cita-cita tak payah tinggi sangat, kan dah menyusahkan orang lain. Oh yeah I almost cried thinking raya tanpa baju raya.

Second one is Makcik B. Bila tanya, sini boleh buat kebaya tak? Dia jawab boleh. Tanya sini boleh buat kurung moden tak? Pon boleh. My sister's kebaya, siap berlacelace bagai, lastlast jahanam. Kain sumpah mahal. akhirnya jahanam. Pinggang patut 24, dapatdapat tengok org pinggang 30 pon muat! My kurung modern, is not kurung modern at all. I sent her 2 kain, and until today, sekali pun I tak pernah pakai. Rugi sangat :(

Finally, I went to Auntie C. Shes very nice. If she thinks she couldnt finish the baju in the time that I want, she would be honest to me. But if she asked me to come back 3 weeks later, memang confirm baju siap pada estimated time. Kebaya dia lawa, kurung pun lawa. Although she charged me mahal sikit like 5-10 ringgit more than Makcik A and B, the quality is the best, her work ethic is number 1, and as a customer memang satisfied sangatsangat. Dia bukan sekadar nak siap, tapi buat dengan her full heart :)

Lain kali kalau nak berniaga, jangan setakat nak untung je. sekali orang dah tak percaya. sampai bilabila susah nak percaya. Mulut manis tu memang perlu. Tapi make sure segala yg dicakap tu ditunaikan. Sepatutnya kan, orang keliling yg rapat dengan you all lah yang patut korang tarik, jaga hati. Sebab yang dekatdekat ni lah yang first akan support apa yang you all buat. Lagi satu, please admit your mistake. Jangan nak blame benda lain atas kesilapan sendiri. Although we are your friends, we are also your customers.

Say sorry at least. Be more sensitive. Memberikan harapan dan membiarkan orang mengharap sangatsangat tak baik.

Walk your talk. Please.

rumours could kill.

2011-11-11T08:44:00.003Z

please please please i'm begging you.

Do not spread any rumours if you don't know the truth.

Do you think that by reading just a few lines in my blog, or 140 letters in my twitter,

you can really tell what happened to my life?

My dear intelligent readers,

Do not jump into conclusion easily.

Even if you think you know what have happened to me,

do not share it with other people,

Coz u haven't asked me first whether your assumption is correct or not.

Stop making your own judgments,

Not good. Na-ah.

Have a wonderful day ahead guys.

33 days left for me before im leaving to Malaysia :)

Mama I wanna go home!

2011-11-07T10:46:00.008Z

I want you to be perfect, but im not perfect either.

Today, I have 2 layers under my eyes. I dont know what it is called, but when your eyes become puffy, there would be 'layers' under it right? So that is how my eyes looked like.

Luckily, I skipped 1 class this morning, so no one would die in shock if they see my ugly eyes.

Crying doesn't make you pretty. okay. noted.

Raya was yesterday. I hope it is not too late to wish all of you, Happy Eid Mubarak!It was my last Raya in the UK. We celebrated it well with lots of foods and great company, Alhamdulillah. We had a potluck at my house after the Solat Raya, and attended an open house after Zuhur.

My first experience of sembahyang Raya in the UK was awesome. I did not understand what the Imam was saying, cos he was speaking in Urdu I think. Their way of sembahyang Raya also different from us. If in Malaysia, the 2nd Rakaat we would have 5 takbir before the fatihah right? But in here, they would have 3(or 5) takbir, after the Fatihah. Lots of people got confused with it, ended up praying differently during the 2nd rakaat. Luckily I was praying next to a lady who I think understood the Imam's instruction hehe :) Well, my solat was farrr than khusyuk. The pretty lady who was praying next to me, placed her LV handbag, right at the place where I was supposed to sujud on. So please imagine, when you're reciting your fatihah, you will keep on looking at that gorgeous handbag where I know I could not afford of buying 1, and wondering where should you sujud later. It was tough for me. Plus, the saf in front me, I could see most of them were not wearing any socks during praying. And I kept on wondering, what Mazhab are they following, would God accept their Solat, Is it really ok to reveal your feet during Solat, etcetc. That was the toughest 5 minutes that I had to go through.

Will upload the pictures later, Insyaallah.

Guess what. I have the malas issue in me right now. Especially in performing the Subuh prayer. Liaaaaatttttt sgt nak bangun. Although I have woken up by the sound of my alarm, it seems too hard for me to get out of the bed. I dont know what to do right now. Guess my motivation has been decreasing. Astaghfirullah. It would be easy for me if I have my mom living with me right now. She will do things beyond your imagination just to wake me up.

I want you Mom!! I mean, I NEED you :'(

the person that I hate the most

2011-11-04T22:27:00.005Z

is Nik Nurul Afiqah.

She is one of my best friends.

But I hate her so much.

Last week she had a fight with her boyfriend.

But yesterday, her boyfriend surprised her by coming to the UK to see her.

And tonight, they are off to France with her BELOVED boyfriend.

Can you imagine how I hate both of them right now?

Travelling with your loved one. Sight-seeing with your loved one. Going on top of the Eiffel tower with your loved one.

How I wish I have one like hers.

This is she. Dont forget my eiffel tower keychainnnnss!

Trick or treats?!

2011-11-01T08:06:00.002Z

Happy Halloween people!!

Oh i know it was yesterday, but better late than never.

You know it is Halloween when you just stay in your house,pretending you're not home,

and trying to ignore every single knock on your door. Trust me, I totally forgot bout the trick or treats thingy :(

My friends and I were planning to carve the jack 0' lantern, but we were too lazy to buy those pumpkins. Well, I did not really celebrate Halloween yesterday. However, we were planning to have a horror movie night, tonight, in my place Yeay! :D I told them that I'm gonna cook a special Malaysian dish for them, and they are all excited about it. Having a nasi lemak on a Halloween dinner is seriously a great combination! LOL!

Is Insidious a good movie? Coz I'm planning to watch that movie tonight with them.

My mood has not been very good lately. And I hope spending time with my friends could cheer me up.

I'm watching you..

Taken from here.

Lesson #3

2011-10-31T09:23:00.001Z

Stop dreaming the old dream.

lets build a new dream.

Lesson #2

2011-10-30T00:00:00.000+01:00

A guy who disrespects you, deserves no respect at all.

Lesson #1

2011-10-29T23:24:00.004+01:00

'Pergi mampos' is a very inappropriate and rude phrase to be said to a girl, which is impossible to be forgiven and forgotten ;)

very true ;)

2011-10-28T14:30:00.001+01:00

final year :)

2011-10-25T09:44:00.006+01:00

You guys will be forever missed in my heart :)

look what autumn had done to me.

p/s: credits to adlyn for these pictures :)

p/s/s: im so sorry for the readers of this blog, followers on my twitter, and friends on my facebook. I got too carried away with my emotions. i should not suppose to do that. my bad, my bad. there's a room for improvement for everyone, right? :)

Haven't you had enough?

2011-10-24T19:25:00.003+01:00

my name is not Barbie.

I have feelings and heart.

So stop playing with them.

Jatuh buat kali entah ke berapa juta.

2011-10-23T09:37:00.006+01:00

Allah S.W.T knows what is best for me.

Wasted my two years and I know time will heal the pain.

jatuh bangun jatuh bangun jatuh bangun jatuh.

I hope I can stand up once more and become stronger Insyaallah.

What goes around comes around. Allah Maha adil. Allah maha pengasih. Aku yakin Dia sentiasa kasihankan orang macam aku. Kalau kita hilang sesuatu, Allah pasti akan gantikan dengan yang lebih baik, kan? :)

p/s: edited post :)

forever guilty.

2011-10-22T19:01:00.005+01:00

buat apa nak rasa guilty harihari dengan Allah?

kalau kita tahu apa yang kita buat tu salah,

apa kata berhenti, tinggalkan, and start a new chapter in your life.

I'm saying this to myself actually.

Nak solat 5 waktu susah. nak perform solat di awal waktu lagi lah susah. nak khusyuk dalam solat tu lagi tak payah cakap lah.

Nak pakai tudung susah. nak tutup aurat lagi susah. Tudung tak tutup dada. baju tak tutup punggung. skinny jeans 24 jam tersarung. sekadar balut aurat instead of tutup aurat baik tak payah.

Orang cakap one step at a time. Pelanpelan kayuh.

Applicable ke perkara ni dalam babbab yang wajib macam ni?

Confused lah. sungguh.

p/s: I'm not referring this to anyone, but myself.

The three angels in my life

2011-10-19T20:48:00.013+01:00

Since last ramadhan, ive privatised my old albums in my fb. Those albums contain pictures of me without the hijab .It was a huge step for me, not to let other people see my pictures. There were lots of photos of me travelling here and there with my friends, and pictures of me in the UK. I wanted to share the experience and moment that I had with the whole world. It was so so so hard to stop displaying it to the world! But Alhamdulillah. I managed to overcome it. On the Ramadhan eve, I just logged in to fb, and without having to think twice, i just set all the albums to private and phew, thats it. It was not that hard, I think. And few days before Syawal, i took another big step in my life; which was deleting most of my profile pictures. I read all the comments on every picture, and almost cried thinking how my life will end. Pictures of me with a smile on my face, with pretty clothes that I wear, with wonderful places as the background, and the wind blowing my hair, will no longer be there, to be viewed by people in this world. Oh did I ever mention that vain is my middle name? :P Well, everything will become a history of my life and only me will have the key to access to it.

It has been almost three months now. Ive seen photos of my friends with their dresses, shorts, and miniskirt on, with colourful leggings, with pretty short sleeve tops, and it reminded me of my old self. I can never wear those clothes anymore. To be honest, I do miss my skirts, my dresses, and my leggings. I have few dresses that I had only worn once or twice, and could no longer wear it anymore, coz im wearing the hijab now. Wear it with jeans? Its a no-no. Doesn't match at all! All these clothes Ive put it inside my storage box, coz it will definitely be a waste of space if I put it inside my closet. I dont know what to do with all my clothes, been thinking of selling those, but who would like to be my customer?

Just now, I browsed through my old album on fb, which contains pictures of me and my friends in Czech. How I miss the moment spent there. Beautiful pictures, beautiful scenery, and beautiful people. I reallyreally want to share the photos here, but I cant. Gosh, the temptation is so high! Ya Allah, please keep me strong til the last day of my life. If other Muslim women can do it, why can't I??

Alhamdulillah, Ive seen some of my friends have started wearing hijab this year. I was so surprised to see it at first, but thanks to Allah for His blessings and guidance. It motivates me a lot as I know that lots of other women are in the same journey as mine facing all the hardships and obstacles in our lives.

In this picture below is my best friend, named Sara. Only God knows how much I love her. Although shes my best friend, she did not tell me anything bout her intention to wear hijab. However, few months ago she asked me to buy some shawls from tie rack and she was so happy when I said Im gonna buy it for her. I didn't ask her anything bout hijab coz I want her to tell me first. Well she did not; until I saw her profile picture with hijab on. MashaAllah I was sooo surprised to see that and she has also deleted her pictures without the hijab. She then told me how she really needs a bestfriend to talk to that time. I'm so sorry Sara for being apart from you. I promise you once I'm back in Malaysia we are going to have a looong nice talk with a cup of coffee in our hand :)

This picture was taken from her facebook

The next person that I'm going to introduce to you guys is.... Nadiah Farehan! If you guys had watched the first season of Showdown, you might recognize her as she was one of the members of Floor Fever Crew. Nadiah is one of my bestest childhood buddy. We were in the same class from standard 1 til standard 6, went to every birthday party together, performed at every school event together, had our meals during the break time together, etc etc. :') Gosh, I'm about to cry while typing this!!!! Na also has started wearing hijab few weeks ago, and I am soooooo proud of her!!!! If you know her, her background, stories of her life, you would definitely be surprised and be thankful to Allah for opening her heart and letting her see the beauty of hijab. The one sitting next to her is Izni Qistina, She is also my childhood best friend. This lady is soooo amazing. Once she entered her puberty, she started putting the hijab on, and never in my life had ever seen her without the hijab on; unlike me. macam Chipsmore, kejap ada kejap tak ada :( These two are sooo beautiful with and without the hijab and I envy them so much!

Izni (L), Nadiah (R)

Taken from her facebook

*updated*

Oh my God I totally forgot about this wonderful friend of mine... TINA!!! She has started wearing hijab a couple of months ago. She is beautiful, with gorgeous hair, and amazing personality. A very sweet person and kindhearted friend as well. She doesnt mind to cover up, and decided to save her beauty for her husband, and why can't I be like her??

Taken from her facebook

My mom was soo happy when I told her about Nadiah and Sara. She even reminded me;

"jangan pandang rendah pada orang yang tak bertudung. Sebab bilabila masa dia boleh berubah dan mungkin iman dia lebih tinggi dari kita selepas perubahan tu"

Alhamdulillah.I am not alone. And please Allah, don't You ever leave me alone.

To these three beautiful girls above, you guys have inspired me, a lot. Thank you :) xx

experience teaches wisdom

2011-10-15T10:33:00.008+01:00

i would like to ask you, the readers one question:

since you were born, how many times have you experienced eating pork/bacon/ba alif ba ya/ anything associates with it in Malaysia?

well, obviously this question is meant for Muslims only :P

My answer would be:

None! Never!

However, it would be a different case for me if I change the question to:

- Since the first day you arrived in the UK, how many times have you experienced eating pork/bacon/ba alif ba ya/ anything associates with it?

Honestly, I've experienced it:

TWICE.

Well, some people might say that my case is not that serious, coz I'm sure those who are studying or have experienced living abroad might have similar or worse experience than mine!

My first experience was in Rome, July 2011.

My friends and I went to this Italian restaurant, and I ordered basil and tomato pasta. I checked the menu a few times to make sure that what I ordered is something meant for vegetarian and has no meat or alcohol in it. The pasta was not bad, and I managed to finish the whole plate, yeay!

However, here goes the however part :P

when i had the last bit in my mouth and i was about to chew it, i could feel like a weird texture in my mouth. not as soft as the pasta, but a bit hard or 'meet like' i would say? im bad in describing things sorry if you guys didnt get what i am trying to say :P

i used my tongue to push it towards my front teeth, and started to play with it using my teeth. then i realized, hey this thing is not tomato, or even pasta! i took it using my hand and it is a square shaped meat, very small, and pink in color. and i was veryvery sure its not a chicken or even a beef! gosh, im not sure how many pieces of you-know-what have i swallowed that day :(

A similar thing happened to me last night. I was invited by my Japanese friend to a bbq party at his house. I went there with my other 4 friends; Rebekah, Hannah, Lucinda, and Blanche. There was a bowl of Walkers (in Malaysia it is called 'Lays'), and Blanche started to eat it. Well Walkers is my favourite and I love cheese n onion flavour, so I started to eat it. When I had my 3rd pieceof crisps (wait, its called pieces right? for crisps?? lol ); then i realized that ive never tried this flavour before. its a bit salty but im sure its not salt n vinegar flavour.

So I asked Blanche, "Blanche, do you know what flavour is this?"

And I think you guys might know what the answer is...

Blanche replied, "Well I thinks its Bacon...oooh shit!!!"

And I was like shoooooottttt I should have asked her first before putting it inside my mouth! No wonder it tastes so weird! I ran to the bathroom and tried to gargle, and dig every single crisp left in my mouth and teeth especially.

The good thing is, as I came out of the bathroom, all my friends were there waiting for me and asked me whether I'm alright. :) Thanks girls for being there! :D xx

Well, some people might think that it is a burden for the Muslims to really have to follow the rules of Allah S.W.T (not drinking alcohol, not eating non- halal foods,not having pre-marital sex, covering our aurah, etc). Well to be honest, its not. It s good that Allah S.W.T forbids us from doing bad things in order to keep our heart, body, soul safe and pure :)

Living abroad is a tough thing for most of us. You have to take care of what you are eating, what you are drinking, who your friends are, etc. But hey, lessons learnt! I will teach myself not to easily eat what's in front of me, and to always check the contents or ingredients of whatever meals I am having. :)

What a great loss to the world :(

2011-10-06T08:06:00.004+01:00

The news that i heard last night was unbelievable.

Steve Jobs has passed away due to cancer.

I do own two Apple's stuff, and I am loving it to the fullest.

Thanks Steve Jobs for what you have done to the world. Without you there would be no Mac, iPod, iPhone, nor iPad. You really have a great vision and a great mind, and we are all inspired by you.

Taken from here

"You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle."- Jobs, 2005.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."- Jobs, 2005.

Let's be inspired by his words :')

RIP Steve Jobs. You will be remembered, forever :)

solat + khusyuk = :)

2011-10-05T18:36:00.003+01:00

Copied this from my friend's status on facebook.

Solat tak khusyuk tapi ada hati minta macammacam.

Amacam, terasa tak? terasa kan? haha. So do I :(

Everytime I pray, otak mesti melayanglayang. Sibuk fikir kejap lagi nak makan apa, nak buat apa, nak tengok cerita apa, nak basuh baju bila, siap plan nak buat apa untuk mingguminggu seterusnya, balik Malaysia nak makan apa, Winter break nak pergi mana, etc etc. Itu belum campur berangan itu ini lagi tu. Sigh.

Lepas sibuk berangan tu, confirm i I terlupa ni dah rakaat ke berapa, dah tahyat awal ke belum, ni rakaat terakhir ke tak, etc etc. Time tu baru tersedar Ya Allah teruknyaaaaa lah diri sampai menghadap Allah S.W.T, berangan tak ingat dunia sampai tak ingat rakaat tu la rasa part yang paling teruk lah kira. Itu belum kira waktu nak rush untuk pergi ke sesuatu tempat atau sibuk nak buat benda lain lepas solat. bacaan tungganglanggang, toma'ninah tak ada, nak khusyuk hummpphh lagilah harapan.....

And then bila dah sujud terakhir, barulah beriya mintak doa macammacam, panjang betul doa tu segala aspek nak mintak kat Tuhan. Padahal tak setimpal langsung dengan usaha yang kita buat dalam beribadah. Bila baca status kawan tu, rasa macam kena panah kena tikam dekat jantung. Solat beriya naik turun naik turun, padahal 20 saat je agaknya yang kusyuk lepas tu duniawi je semua. Itu pun ada hati mintak macammacam.

So, macammana nak khusyuk dalam solat?

Orang kata, sambil kita baca all the ayat dalam solat, kita fahamkan sekali dengan maksudnya. Hummm... Al Fatihah punya maksud pun ingatingat lupa... no wonder la tak pernah khusyuk pun.. :(

Lagi satu, kalau tak mampu nak hafal maksud bacaan dalam solat, kita bayangkan ayatayat yang dibaca tu, how it is written in the Quran. Ive tried that method a few times, 1 minit pertama je berjaya. lepastu ...... only God knows what happened. :(

taken from here

Respect sangatsangatsangat dekat orang yang boleh khusyuk dalam solat ni. i taktau lah berapa percent je agaknya solat yang i buat yg diterima Allah S.W.T. Please Allah please, guide us to become better Muslims from day to day Insyaallah.

tweettweet!

2011-10-01T19:27:00.003+01:00

OH-EM-GEE! (Please say this in the the most annoying voice that you've got! :P)

well, i have made a twitter account. All this while, i did not even know the differences between twitter and updating your facebook status. and believe it or not, up until today I still don't have a clue what are the advantages of having a twitter account.

Why did I sign up for twitter? To be honest, it was 4 in the morning, and I was supposed to have a class at 9 on the very next day. I tried to shut my eyes, but I still could not force myself to sleep. Then I took my phone and started to browse on the top 25 free apps on itunes. Then here it was - TWITTER Apps. I downloaded the apps, signed up, took almost 20 minutes to think about the coolest username on earth that I can use for my twitter account, followed few people that I know, and yeah, I am still not good in twitting and find it difficult to read those tweets which have @ and # symbols. grrr.

Oh by the way, here is my twitter account, please mention me in your tweets! LOL! :D

Kakak, Portsmouth, Winchester, Dover, and London.

2011-09-25T15:04:00.010+01:00

3 weeks ago, my second eldest sister visited me for the second time and it was my 3rd time to have my family members visiting me here :) Alhamdulillah, it is not easy to travel from Malaysia to UK, and I feel thankful to have a very wonderful family and to be given such rezeki by Allah S.W.T.

Well honestly i think her main intention is to visit her fiance who is working in London, but it was like killing two birds with one stone. She has to visit me as well as I am her only little sister! And yeah, she did yeay! :)

She stayed in Portsmouth for 4 days, and I had to accompany her to do some shopping. Gunwharf and Commercial Road are two main attractions in Portsmouth. Portsmouth is just a small town and to be honest, nothing much can be done here. But hey, we do have Factory outlets in Gunwharf! :D

With my sister in front of the Guildhall in Portsmouth.

During her stay in Portsmouth, we went to Winchester for a day trip. Winchester is a lovely town with lots of attractions for you to visit. Jane Austen spent her last days in Winchester and her body was buried in the Winchester Cathedral. We visited the Cathedral, the Great Hall with King Arthur's Round Table in it, the City Mill, Wolvesey Castle, Jane Austen's house where she spent 6 weeks til her last breath there, and also the St Cross Hospital.

Me, my sister, and Adlyn

We then went to London and stayed at my sister's fiance's apartment which is in Canary Wharf. I watched my fourth theater which is Phantom of the opera and it was awesome!! If you go to London, please AT LEAST watch one musical theater there. It worth every single penny that you paid. The actors, settings, props, songs were brilliant! :) Thanks to Abg. Farouk for the theater and all the treat :)

Canary Wharf

Anyway, do you guys remember this picture?

Yeah its The Beatles in Abbey Road!

We went to Abbey Road and tried to capture the same picture as Beatles' tapi x jadi because there were too many cars and tak boleh nak berdiri dekat tengah2 and pose for a min. :(

Yeay We watched Phantom of The Opera yeayy! :D

Chinatown

We also went to Dover which is in Canterbury for a day trip as well. To be honest, there's nothing much in there, but the main attractions are the Whitecliff and Dover Castle. Subhanallah, cantik! :)

The Whitecliff, Dover

The ticket to enter the Dover Castle is quite expensive which is around 14pounds for students. However, the castle is very big and there are lots of things to see and you will find it worth it as well :)

With the King ;)

I cant wait for December to come coz I am going back to Malaysia for my sister's wedding Yeayy! :D I guess that is the end of my summer break. My final year will start tomorrow, and honestly, I am not ready yet! i only have 9 months left in the UK and I hope I can do well in my final year.

Some of you must be surprised to see me with hijab. Well, Ive started to wear the hijab since last Ramadhan. I know that I did not really cover my aurah well, coz I have not done any shopping yet and all the clothes in my closet semua baju lama yang ketat dan pendek. Insyaallah will improve myself from time to time. Thanks to Allah S.W.T. for all His blessings on me :) I really hope that my iman will stay strong and words of encouragement from you guys will keep me strong Insyaallah. Let us pray that Allah S.W.T. will shower us with Hidayah and guide us to the right path, Amin :)

the jealousy in me.

2011-09-22T22:43:00.005+01:00

I have this HUGE problem in me.

I would envy those who are better than me.

Tengok orang rezeki lebih sikit, I akan dengki.

Tengok orang pandai lagi, I akan dengki.

Tengok orang cantik lagi, I akan dengki.

Tengok orang kurus lagi, I akan dengki.

Tengok handbag orang mahal lagi, I akan dengki.

Tengok boyfriend orang kaya lagi, I akan dengki.

Tengok orang tu kaya lagi, lagi la I dengki.

It is not that I hate that person. NO. Dont get me wrong.

I hate the situation di mana I rasa inferior gila and tengok diri saya ni kecil sangat nak banding dengan merekamereka. Kenapa perlu ada rasa tak pernah cukup dengan apa yang ada? Patutnya kita tengok orang yang lebih bawah dari kita, bukan yang atas jauh di sana.

Tapi senang lah cakap, tengok orang yang lebih bawah. Tapi kalau dah keliling kita semua nya hebathebat, kadangkadang rasa tergugat jugak.

fb pun satu. Lifestyle orang lain tiaptiap hari boleh tengok satupersatu . Baju apa dia pakai, beg apa dia galas, kasut apa dia sarung, kereta apa dia pandu, semua kita TERambik tahu.

I always cried thinking how my life is so hard compared to others. Segalanya kena usaha sendiri. Babbab fizikal pun sama. tengok bontot besar lagi dari orang lain dah stressed tak ingat rasa rendah diri lebihlebih pulak.

I just can't get enough of myself.

When I looked at those self-sponsored students who are studying abroad pon I jealous tak ingat. They are so lucky boleh datang belajar jauhjauh and tunggu duit from their parents. Tak perlu susah payah belajar nak mati, apply itu ini, interview sana sini, ambik exam lagi, baru lah dapat pergi. I did not mean that budak private tak pandai boleh datang sini and telling that budak under scholarship ni lebih bijak pandai. No no.

What I mean is, diorang tak perlu go through those process untuk sampai ke sini. My family gadai gadai segala harta pon takkan mampu nak hantar ke UK ni. entahentah nak ke Indonesia sebelah negara tu pun diorang tak mampu. Sangat beruntung sangatsangat tau diorang ni I rasa :) Tuition fee setahun kat UK ni pun dah berapa ribu pounds dah tau. dengan accommodation lagi, pocket money lagi, huish menggigil agaknya mama kalau kena bayar segala tu for me.

I rasa jealous sangat when I see those yang dah lah cantik tak ingat, and they know how to dress up, dengan mak ayah kaya raya, lepas tu they have brains pandai sangat tak terkata. They are so perfect!!! Kalau tengok dalam blogblog pun bersepah je yang lawa-kaya-pandai with their handsome-rich-nice boyfriend. What a perfect combination.

Eeee gedik gila okay entry ni mengada tak habishabis tulis perkataan jealous.

Saya orang biasa. Dilahirkan dalam keluarga yang biasabiasa. Berwajah biasabiasa. Kepandaian pun biasabiasa.

Astaghfirullah, kenapa tak reti nak bersyukur ni hah? Patut aku ni kena campak kat Somalia atau Palestin sana tu. Baru belajar sikit cara bersyukur.

Please let me know how can I cure this disease?

Eh tapi yang bawah ni I janji I tak pernah jealous bab ni :P

Austria :)

2011-09-20T17:29:00.008+01:00

It has been a while since I last posted about my eurotrip experience in this blog. Without further ado, let me continue on the third country that I visited during my first summer break, which is AUSTRIA!

There is nothing much to say about the trip to Austria coz we only had the chance to visit one city only which is Innsbruck. I reallyreallyreally wanted to visit Salzburg but it was not part of the trip. Whats so good about Salzburg? the movie Sound of Music was filmed there and i have watched that movie for so many times :D

Anyhow, Innsbruck was great as well. The scenery was breathtaking. Let's enjoy some photos of Innsbruck! :)

Look at the colour of the lake. Subhanallah :)

our campsite. It was a very cold night for us. But Alhamdulillah nasi lemak was served for the dinner :D

We also had the chance to visit Swarovski shop in Innsbruck. We bought a ring for our friend, as her birthday was on that day. Lucky her! :D Well I did not buy anything for myself coz, you know why. I could not afford it :'(

Jimmy Choo also used Swarovski in his design :)

The golden roof

Street performance. That lady must be sweating a lot in that dress! Last summer was very hot for all of us even though we are all from Malaysia. It was dry and hot!

The old painting on the wall

Winter Olympics was held in Innsbruck

Alhamdulillah for giving me the opportunity to travel here and there during my stay in the UK. I really hope that Allah S.W.T will grant me with health, wealth, and lots of iman til the day I die Insyaallah.

Amin :)

kegedikan masa lampau

2011-09-20T01:38:00.006+01:00

i just read some of my earlier posts in this blog.

One thing about me back then- POYO paling teramat.

With all those abbreviations that i used - oso, ryte, rili, evrythg, apa benda entah lagi

Colourful font yg kononkonon funky hip habis lah tu

and all the emosi menggelabah aku Ya Allah sumpah malu. Heartbroken lepas tu all those words nak emo kan??

Mesti I rasa I cool time tu hahah! plus rasa cute jugak harus! LOL

eh eh, i even used the words jew and nyew okay! LOLOLOLOL!!

Thinking of deleting some of the posts. I'm 22 this year. Will start teaching in another 2 years time. Sooner or later my colleagues or students would find out about this blog and they might read every single entry in it. To avoid myself from being a laughing stock, baiklah delete siapsiap bahagianbahagian yg memalukan.

Ramadhan in Portsmouth :)

2011-09-19T23:22:00.012+01:00

Ramadhan has passed us very quickly.

and now without us realizing it, Syawal has almost come to its end :(

I was asked by a friend of mine, how was the Ramadhan celebration in UK.

I know it is a bit too late to share it with you guys about my first experience of celebrating Ramadhan in England,but nak share jugak! :))

On the first day of Ramadhan, it was very challenging for my housemates and I, as we had to move in to our new house on that day. Without really preparing ourselves during the sahur, the moving out and moving in process had really challenged our iman during the day. It was very tiring for all of us, but we were so lucky to have a good friend who was willing to help us on that day. A very big thank you to our dearest friend Tiyah for helping us out. :)

Hello new room! It took me almost 2 weeks to finish unpacking those stuff. My room is smaller this year and I had to put my books and files in my luggage, and other stuff in the store. I dont have any place for my handbags and up until today, those handbags are still in the paper bag :'((

Celebrating Ramadhan during summer time was pretty challenging for us. The daytime is very long and you have to be patience, not to think about foods during the 18 hours battle.

Subuh started at 3.30 am, while Maghrib was around 9pm.

Since Subuh was very early, we would stay awake during the night, in order to make sure that we could grab the chance to have our sahur, and not to miss our subuh as well! During the 30 days of Ramadhan, Alhamdulillah I had not miss my sahur at all :)

well, we did not really cook for the sahur. we would just eat the leftover during the iftar, or just fill our tummy with bread n cereal :) Drinking lots of plain water is very essential to keep your body hydrated during the day.

And what did I do during the day time?

I watched all the episodes of Running Man, and some episodes of Family Outing. Okay fyi, Im not a K-Pop or K-Drama or whatever K that exists in this world. Running Man is the first Korean game show that I ever watched, and surprisingly I fell in love with it (with RM only, not the K thingy)!! It was veryveryvery hilarious!! My favourite is of course Song Ji Hyo. Okay now we are talking about KoreaKorea lah kan instead of Ramadhan! :P

And what I noticed in the ep. 53, she wore the same shades as mine! :D I am not being perasan but the color also is sumpah the same! :D

Well, other than that, I would just browse through the net, skypewith my family, and spend the day watching all the series on the net. My mom was very sweet. I guess she pitied me for having to celebrate the Ramadhan in UK without my family and all the good foods in Malaysia. My mom even skyped with me during the sahur and Iftar, and semangat sangat showed me all the lauk on the table. Grrr..

The evening would be spent in the kitchen, preparing the meals for the iftar, trying out new recipes cehcehceh. It was not me, it was my housemates :P I am not good in cooking. My cooking skill has improved about 5% only hihi :P

Oh I also managed to bake 3 different types of kuih raya this year! Yaay to me! but semua is very easy peasy one hehe. I baked choc chip cookies, Honey cornflakes, and chocolate cornflakes for the house. My other 2 housemates were so rajin buat popia simpul, but they called it simpul kasih ke simpul apa entah which is a new thing for me :P

So what we had for iftar??

I feel so lucky to live in Portsmouth with quite a number of Malaysians living here as well :)

During Ramadhan, we received invitations from other Malaysians to have the iftar at their house. They are a bunch of nice people who love to treat others with those mouth watering Malaysian foods and delicacies :) We dont have any pasar Ramadhan here, so whenever we feel mengidam we would google the recipe on the net, and tried to make it on our own. I had the chance to eat ondeonde, tauhu sumbat, popia, puding jagung, roti john, kuih bakar, and other kuih which i could not remember right now :P

Bubur caca! I cooked this for iftar :) Tapi x jadi coz I added sagu in it, and it became too thick and I did not realize that waaaaa :'((((

However, the Ramadhan experience that we had was not that sweet at all :( The riot in London was really bad. I could still remember the video of Ayraf Haziq, who was mugged in London. I really hope that he is alright now. Last month, the Malaysians in UK received an invitation from the embassy for an Iftar event with Asyraf Haziq and his family in Malaysian Hall, London. His parents must be totally worried of their son's safety. If that thing ever happens to me, I am sure my mom would insist me to go back and continue my study in Malaysia. And if I refuse, she would definitely call Ministry of Education and ask them to cancel my scholarship pfft. But thanks to Allah S.W.T, there was no riot in Portsmouth although we heard some rumors saying that a building got burnt down in here.

One thing that really surprised me was, there are 2 sessions of Terawih in here. The first one is after Isya' Prayer and the other one is somewhere around midnight. They want to give everybody equal chance to perform taraweh berjemaah. For those taxi drivers and anyone yg balik kerja lambat, or x dapat tempat nak solat due to the limited space of the mosque can still sembahyang berjemaah jugak :)

Well Alhamdulillah, Ramadhan 2012 had taught me lots of new things, and many experience was gained as well..I never cooked for my family back then, not even for myself. Everything was prepared for me. My mom would wake me up for sahur, prepare the meals both for sahur and iftar.My job was only to set the table, and wash all the dishes. Now I realized that being a mother is really a tough thing to do. I have never been this independent in my life. Thanks to Allah for giving me the opportunity to study abroad and learn the value of life :)

Let us be thankful to the Almighty, no matter how many times we disobey His words, nikmat yang Allah bagi tetap tak pernah putus, not even once :)

2011-09-04T21:46:00.001+01:00

guess its really over.

no hope at all.

not expecting anything.

but still praying for the best.

Selamat hari Raya.

hope its still not too late.

im back back back back! :D

2011-08-16T17:49:00.004+01:00

ive been away for almost 2 months. so many things happened and more things to come.

well,

done with my research paper. phew.
done with my second year. which means that i only have 1 more year left in uk sobs.
went to London for the Harry Potter Premiere :)
I went to the Thorpe Park and survived all the rides which are listed in the top 10 most scariest roller coasters in the world. Yeay!
ive watched the theater- Wicked in London. powerful voice and wonderful act. i was sooo impressed!
ive been to the eastern europe for 2 weeks, and been to 4 countries with my loved ones.
Ive moved into a new house. and it has been 2 weeks without any internet connection at our house.
this year is my first experience fasting in UK. 18 hours man! 18 hours!!
there was a riot in london and manchester, liverpool, birmingham were affected as well. Alhamdulillah, nothing happened in Portsmouth so far. i feel so thankful reading all the comments on wall posts on my wall, sent by friends and families. you guys are so thoughtful and praise to Allah for giving me the opportunity to have you guys in my life :)
All my savings have gone. and i am officially broke. pfft. again!
Ramadhan 2011 has changed me a lot. Alhamdulillah. :)

once ive got the internet at home, i will definitely share my eurotrip pictures with you guys :)

Happy Ramadhan to all of you :)

Salam.

online business.

2011-07-01T15:23:00.003+01:00

thinking of making an online business, selling stuff from UK.

would there be people who are interested in buying those stuff?

a superduper excited post!

2011-06-26T23:56:00.008+01:00

I WENT TO THE GLEE LIVE TOUR IN LONDON LAST NIGHT!!!!!!

You see the capital letters? That shows how excited I was last night!

All the performances were awesomeeeeee! The GLEE kids and the WARBLERS were just super AWESOME!!!!! I still can't believe that I had the chance to see all of them live!!!

I am going to post all the pictures probably next week.

Before I end this entry,

here is a gift for you guys;

the first performance; DONT STOP BELIEVING by the GLEE CLUB!!!!

:DDD

The similarities between me, Messi, the LA Galaxy, Aidil Zafuan, and Zaquan Adha.

2011-06-22T15:33:00.006+01:00

Champion like Messi also believes in Herbalife

Herbalife and the LA Galaxy :)

Malaysians 5 proud athletes are now officially sponsored by Herbalife :)

We are all Herbalife users! :)

P/S: Messi pun dah, anda bila lagi? ;)

HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT?

2011-06-20T13:26:00.012+01:00

when i first started my study in UK, my weight was only 44kg.

well im so lazy to browse through my external hard disk so i just simply grabbed this lousy picture from my laptop.

hihihi during my first month in Portsmouth.

To be honest, I am not a great cook. When i was in Malaysia, i only knew how to make the instant noodles, fry the eggs, oh and burgers and nuggets. not to forget, frankfurters. that's it. So when i first came to UK, I had no intention to cook, coz i knew that it would not taste good. I was damn lazy; yes I am. But how did I survive? By 'cooking' all the instant and ready meals such as the cheese fries (which i only put into the oven and wait for 20 minutes), fish pie (also sumbat into the oven only), fish fingers (oven) and cheese n onion pasty (oven AGAIN). Sometimes if my mood was good, i would cook fried rice or rice porridge, or spaghetti. Oh and I ate lotssss of cereals, doritos, walkers, chocolates, cheese cake (it costs me only 1 pounds!!), custard cream, biscuits, chocolates again. So basically, that was my diet during my first year.

As time passed by, I gained lots of kgs and fats! So here is my picture after 5 months living in UK.

You can see clearly how my face looked like in this picture. Tembam, kan? oh wait, if this is not enough, let me show you another picture

Nice one, kan?? please focus on the tummy. FYI, this is my first time showing these pictures to everyone. I was so devastated when I saw these pictures for the first time.

Comments that I had received from people that I love.

- Nawal Atikah ko mmg dh gemok eh?
  08 March 2010 at 06:17 ·
- Izzati Zainuddin sangat weh :(
  08 March 2010 at 06:55 ·
- Nawal Atikah gilak ah
  cmne jd gtu??
  08 March 2010 at 07:01 ·

Azrul Azwar Agoy hmmm... looks kinda HUGE ...CHUBBY... and a bit WIDE....
28 January 2010 at 16:20 ·
Izzati Zainuddin ilusi optik je semua tu abg agoy.haha.
28 January 2010 at 16:28 ·

Freihardt Nasbi ejat tembamnye
26 January 2010 at 01:17 ·
Izzati Zainuddin diam.nak nanges.ahhhhh stress.
26 January 2010 at 01:20 ·

ps:I tak reti how to edit comment that i copied from fb atas ni. sorry :(

I don't know what happened to me that time. Probably because I did not sweat at all in UK. Seriously, deodorant tu untung gila guna seciput je setahun tak habis. :P I was so lazy to exercise lagi pulak the gym fee pon was 130 pounds and I had no money and had no time to go to the gym. Then i read about Herbalife from my friend's status on facebook. I sent a message to her inbox and pm her about my problem. That was my first Herbalife purchase. But, I was sooo lazy to drink my Herbalife and said to myself that I'm gonna drink it once I am in Malaysia coz I still want to eat all the cheap foods and crisps and chocs in here. So yeah, I did not drink it although I knew that i am getting fatter from day to day. I could no longer wear my jeans, and bought new pair of pants, whicH is size 10 instead of 8 :(

In fact, I could not fit into my kebaya as well!!!! :( i tried to wear it, but I could not button my kebaya pun. and I did not tell anyone about this :(

Sampailah ke mid of June. There was a weight scale in my friend's house and that was my first time standing on the weight scale after 9 months living in UK.

For the first time in my life, my weight has been increasing to 51 kg. I had never reached 50 kg before! So yeah, in just 9 months, I gained 7 kilos. :(

Then i returned to Malaysia dengan hati yang kurang gembira. BUT, I simpaaaannn lagi my herbalife. and did not drink it until I returned back to UK for my 2nd year. I lost 4 kilos coz i went for a eurotrip and jalan banyak so kurus sikit and i was very satisfied dah time tu.

So back in UK, my eating habit pun makin teruk. and 1 day, I saw this Herbalife booth at cascade and they offered free body fat test. I was very confident to undergo the test and I thought since i have lost few kgs, my body fat shouldnt be that bad. Well, my result was 35% and i was so happy coz i thought that my body fat was low. But I was wrong. The normal body fat should be only within the range of 20-29% tak silap. and mine is 35% and siap dekat chart tu, i punya result warna merah lagi punya lah nak tunjuk yg 35% tu is seriously a bad number. Plus, tulis kat situ siap bold lagi - HIGH BODY FAT :((

That was very unhealthy of me, and finally I decided to try my Herbalife. I thought that I need to ikat perot and cannot eat rice at all. But I was totally WRONG! I could still eat my dinner with my housemates and i didnt kurangkan my nasi at all hihi.

After 1 month, I lost 3 kilos and I weigh exactly the same when I first arrived in UK :)

Some of my latest pictures! :D

Bournemouth, UK

Marseille, France

FYI, I dulu susah betul nak poopoo. i would only do my business dalam once a week je. kalau in Malaysia, memang within 2 weeks, konfem sekali dua. Yeah, that was me back then. Tau tak kalau tak poopoo setiap hari it means that it is not good. not good at all! Everybody should poopoo at least once a day!

When I consumed my herbalife, everyday wajib sekali pergi toilet. WAJIB okay. guess I should not elaborate more nanti ada yg geli but I tell you, it really worked for me. sangat lawas hihi.

One more thing, those who know me memang tau lah my period cramp tu memang paling dahsyat dalam dunia. When I was in my foundation year, I even ironed my tummy beralaskan my t- shirt only. Please ask my roommate if you don't believe me. Well, during the first month I consumed herbalife, trust me. my period pain hilang. the herbal tea was AWESOME! :D pagi tu I dah terasa nak cramp dah, I straightly boiled the water, buat my herbal tea and drank it. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. :)

Well, this entry is actually to tell people why I chose Herbalife and the effects on me after consuming it. We need to take care of our body. Herbalife does not require you to ikat perot at all. You an still eat rice and you would never feel hungry. Seriously.

If you guys know anyone who is interested to lose weight, gain weight, and reshape their body, do PM me on facebook or even send a message to my handphone or dekat sini je pun terus boleh. :) It does not matter where you staying at, UK, Malaysia, other European countries pun tak apa ;)

A healthy body is what we need :)

**attenti0n

-This entry was edited and the photos that i had attached to this post were deleted because those were my old pictures, without the hijab. You can email me if you want to take a look at those pictures. Sorry! :) xx

tudung dan club.

2011-06-13T14:32:00.003+01:00

just saw a couple of pictures on facebook.

bertudung. berclubbing.

the same person but with different personality.

tudung dan club.

they don't really blend well.

yes i do understand the fact that most of us love to try something new.

once dah masuk university, laju je kaki ikot member buat itu ini.

in fact, i pun macam tu.

tapi macam kelakar la when you uploaded things that you did on facebook.

when people browsed your pictures,

sekejap sweet sangat berhijab,

bila di click butang next untuk kali ke empat; nah

gambar dekat club lah pulak.

err,

tak payah upload kot gambar macam tu.

okay?

you simpan sendiri dalam hard disk dekat laptop tu,

tak manis. sungguh.

bila mana segala yang kau rancang tak pernah menjadi

2011-05-30T12:03:00.003+01:00

trust is a big thing that i need.

when someone hacked your account, what would you feel?

kalau dah stranger pon kau mengamok maki sepenoh hati,

inikan pulak bila orang itu kau kenal sepenuh hati.

seriously aku tak faham. how could my tears become so cheap.

tiap hari. even my heart becomes so weak.

jangan kau tanyakan mengapa kalau satu hari nanti even dah berkecai satu hati pon sikit tak basah mata dan pipi.

kalau harihari macam ini, aku boleh jadi numb. aku boleh jadi immune.

bila kau cocok aku beribu kali, aku sikit pon tak peduli.

mata jadi kering. hati jadi kering. even nafsu sekali.

walk your talk. buat apa kau cakap.

jangan hipokrit. jangan cakap tak serupa bikin.

kau kata kau benci itu, kau benci ini.

tapi kau buat jugak benda itu satu hari.

hey what happened to you?? you are not the same person that i knew.

aku heran macammana seseorang itu boleh confident dengan sesuatu.

senang aja kau lantang kan, yes itu yang aku mahu.

aku yakin i can achieve that. aku yakin itu yang aku akan jadi satu hari nanti. aku yakin sama orang itu yang akan aku hidup sampai mati.

aku heran. dan yes aku kagum.

sanasini kau canangkan dream kau yang satu itu.

tapi aku tak macam tu. tiap kali apa aku cakap, aku tulis, pasti akan aku simpan 90% dari perkara itu.

hanya 10% yang aku reveal pada semua. semuanya ada double meaning.

because i'm too scared to share. i'm too shy to express. i am embarrassed with myself.

i want to get out from this cocoon.

jadi orang yang lebih kuat, lebih menarik luar dan dalam.

cis. tapi aku macam ni lah. cerita pungpang pungpang. satu perubahan pun tak nampak.

tak reti nak walk my talk.

but it's okay. kalau tak dapat prove to others, at least i can prove it to myself.

pergi mati sama siapasiapa yang cakap, eleh buat apa join usrah kalau kau sikit pon tak berubah.

sebab hanya kau sama Tuhan saja yang tau bahagian mana yang kau ubahkan. cakap pasal usrah ni, sama jugak konsepnya kalau aku laungkan bende ni pada muka kau

'apa guna kau mengucap dua kalimah syahadah kalau kau sendiri tak act as a good Muslim dalam segala apa yang kau buat'.

well, aku tak reply macam tu sebab i know we are not perfect. nobody is perfect. tiada guna kalau aku nak saling memaki sebab aku bukan boleh judge kau. kau tak layak jugak untuk judge aku.

waddahell random gila apa aku tulis. semua point aku sumbat dalam ni. thesis statement takde. topic sentence tunggang langgang campor sana sini.

the never-ending list.

2011-05-09T00:45:00.003+01:00

I need to learn how to cook asam pedas.

I need to train myself not to procrastinate.

I need to force myself to pray on time.

I need to develop higher self-esteem.

I need to control my bad eating habit.

I need to stop myself from discussing about other people.

I need to quit stalking.

I need to get a new hobby. I'm pathetic. please find me one?

Most of all,

I need to strengthen my Iman.

I need to fight against Satan.

plus,

I need to walk my talk.

Tsk. susahnya hidup... :'( Akhirat macammana lah nanti.

the most beautiful woman in the world

2011-05-08T12:18:00.005+01:00

before i start my day i would like to thank this wonderful woman for being in my life since i was born and will be with me always.

thank you for preparing the foods for me since I was a child.

Thank you for buying dodol for me although i am the only one in the family who loves it.

Thank you for feeding me and my brother when we were about to go to school during our primary years. i can still remember how my brother and i were lining up, taking turn to be fed by you :')

Thank you for cooking me chicken rendang when i went back to malaysia last year.

Thank you for cooking me sambal ikan bilis for me to eat in UK.

Thank you for sending me lots of foods and medicine everytime my family or friends came here :')

Thank you for being the best listener in the world.

Thank you for packing up my stuff whenever i went for a camping trip during my school years.

Thank you for not to scold me whenever i got bad results during my exam.

Thank you for backing me up when abah scolded me for my trial results :'(

Thank you for calling me on skype almost everyday although you knew i would get mad when the internet connection went down :(

Thank you for always reminding me of my responsibility to God.

Thank you for screaming my name out in order to wake me up for Subuh.

Thank you for splashing water on my face so that i would not be late for school.

Thank you for visiting me twice a month when i was in MRSM and stocking up my locker with lots of foods, drinks, mineral water (she said water cooler provided at the hall is not good for health :p)

Thank you for taking care of me when i got sick one week before the SPM.

Thank you for not to scold me when i cried telling you that my warden scolded me as i missed my subuh and asked me to clean the toilet. well, she even came to school on the same day to calm me down and asked me if i want her to go and have a talk with that warden haha :P

Thank you for not to disown me as your child although i have made you cried for so many times :'(

To show my gratitude and to express my love to you is very difficult as i dont know how to put it into words. For all the fights, for all the cry, for all the care, and for all the love that you shower me , you are the best mom in this world and nobody can replace you.

Sorry for not being the best daughter in this world, but i will never stop trying. never.

I hope i can make you proud, mama :)

I looked at my exes and wonder, was I on drugs?

2011-05-04T13:35:00.003+01:00

haha seriously, what was i thinking that time??

tears of happiness :'))

2011-05-03T22:07:00.005+01:00

just received the best gift ever last night.

it is just a simple gift, very low-budget one,

but to me it is very priceless and valuable :)

i want to show it here;

but i can't.

i'm a very shyshy cat type of girl hihi :P

merci beaucoup

turning 22 :)

2011-05-02T09:55:00.003+01:00

yesterday was the day. i am no longer 21, and yeah i'm 22 :)

thanks mama and abah for raising me up til i become a girl-woman-lady like this.

to be honest i am not really happy with the number 22, not because i think that i am already old. naaaahh. age is just a number for me.

i just feel that the responsibility in me would become more from day to day.

and yeah, im still not ready for that ;)

was skyping with my mom on my birthday and she didn't wish me 'happy birthday' at all!!

but she wished me something else.

"mama wish awak lepas ni tutup aurat and dah tak pakaipakai dah leggings tu.. pakai la jeans je lepas ni".

gulp. didn't say a word.i was just laughing and changed the topic.

we had an usrah gathering yesterday at our place. and thanks everyone for bringing those delicious foods to our place :)

and thanks guys for all the birthday wishes. fb sangat membantu ;)

walaupun u all ber- HB, HB dengan i takpelah i appreciate jugak haha.

nak suruh tulis in a full form karang ada yg cakap i tak appreciate pulak. ;)

well, 22 please be good to me.

i wish that i can be a better person, and a better Muslim Insyaallah. :)

royal wedding 2011

2011-04-29T23:26:00.013+01:00

so yeah i went to london yesterday for the royal wedding!! :D

as what you guys could see in the television, there were thousands of people celebrating the wedding!! although we arrived there quite early, we couldn't get a good spot for the parade :( everybody was being selfish blocking each other's view :'(((

i was very upset and didn't have the mood to take many pictures during the event. plus, i dont have DSLR and all the pictures that i got are damn lousy :(

and please don't laugh on my pictures :(

diorang semangat gila sampai camping out along the side of the street

the guards

look at the carriage and you can see the other part in the next picture. pfft :(

so TADAAA!!okay so yang depan tu ialah Kate and Prince William. terel gilewww i amirk gambar karnnn????

Prince Harry? kan tak silap kan?ke tak haha ok im confused. yeah that's him tak silap. correct me if im wrong.

The bridesmaid which is Kate's sister; Pippa :)

Yes so the yellow one is the Queen. pls zoom in. told ya im such a professional photographer :(

Prince Charles sekeluarga

Royal families and VIPs

Huge crowd of people heading towards the tube station after the parade.

from 40 p0unds, i got this shoes for only 10 pounds! :D

from 65 pounds, reduced to 12 pounds only!! :D (ehem, real leather :P)

and this one is supposed to be 5 pounds, but i got it for 3 pounds! :D

oh btw, before i went back to Portsmouth, i went to the victoria station to catch my bus. to kill the time, i went to Dorothy Perkins for a while :P I was sooo happyyy once i stepped out of the store as i had managed to buy 3 things which only cost me 20 pounds! :D (including the 20% discount for students)

Tips for you guys: if you are studying abroad, buy winter stuff during the spring/summer season, and buy your summer stuff during the winter time coz it would be muchmuchmuch cheaper ;)

LDRLDRLDRLDR

2011-04-28T21:23:00.001+01:00

sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead

-adele

ps: praying for the first one. amin. :)

it's a quickie!!

2011-04-21T20:34:00.004+01:00

this is the most busiest and wonderful easter break that i have ever had!

well, my family is here in portsmouth for about 10 days ! :D

we were supposed to have a roadtrip to the northern area but unfortunately ariana got sick and she was very weak and we couldn't continue our journey to manchester and liverpool. :(

we went to stratford-upon-Avon and Bicester village only. will update everything once they have toured London pulak :)

will be leaving Pompey tomorrow afternoon and will be staying in London for about a week :)

p/s: feel very lucky because i didn't have to cook for 2 weeks as abg agoy and abg azam were the one who handled everything. hihi :P everynight, we would have dinner at home, cooked by these 2 lovely gentlemen :D

p/s/s: im sure im gonna miss all of them especially my 2 pumpkins ariana and ashaz :')

Congratulations!

2011-04-06T09:59:00.003+01:00

This news was like ages ago but I totally forgot to congratulate these 3 girls!!

In just 15 days my dear friends have lost inches and kgs by using Herbalife! :)

Congrats to Ayuni Hanim for losing 7.5 cm all over her body except for her arms and thighs because she forgot to measure those areas. grrrrr yuni!!! but yeah she did lose 3 kg of her weight, and her body fat level reduced from 33.3% (high) to 28.7%(normal) just by consuming herbalife yeaay!! :D

As for Liyana Roslan, she managed to lose 10cm all over her body and 3 kg in just 15 days!!! Congrats Yana and well done!! :D

Lat but not least, Faten Ibrahim had lost 8 cm all over her body and 1 kg in just 15 days!!! Although the kilo is not really impressive, yet she still managed to reshape her body by losing those cms!!Congrats to Faten as well and Im sure if she continues consuming Herbalife, more kgs can be reduced Insyaallah. :)

Well, you cannot expect people to lose 10 kg in just 1 month. you need to give them time, to really get the S size from L ;))

How can i move on when I'm still in love with you

2011-03-27T20:24:00.014+01:00

Let's start this entry with 2 photos taken during the concert :)

The band :)

What more can I say, The Script concert was a blast!! It was really worth going and with the 30 pounds that we paid, we managed to stand at the front and can see clearly Danny's sweat all over his neck! I know it sounds gross but when you stood there and looked at how good he rocked the stage with the perfect voice that he has, you will feel that he is the most hottest guy alive!

However, our journey to London did not really start like what we had been expecting. We took the 3.45pm bus which would reach London approximately 2 hours later. The concert was supposed to start at 7.30pm and if I'm not mistaken the gate opened at 6pm. The thing is, our bus didn't show up on time. We began our journey at 4.20pm and there was heavy a traffic along the way. We were so upset and worried that we couldn't get any good spot at the concert. All of us were pasrah and tried not to think about it. We reached London around 6.45pm and we had been running like mad to the Victoria station as if we were competing in an Amazing Race. Lucky for me for not to wear my boots coz i've been thinking about wearing it on the night before!!! I wore my Converse for that concert and during that time i knew that i have made the best decision ever. It was very busy at the London Victoria and lots of people were there to get on the tube. Wembley Park station is in Zone 4 and it took almost 40 minutes to get there. Once we have arrived, a lot of people were walking to the Wembley Arena and we were so excited to get into it.Around 7.45pm we managed to enter the arena had found the perfect spot 5 minutes before the concert started . Phew.

The opening performance by this lady (err..Im not sure what her name is) was not that bad. However, when she started to sing her third song, that was when we felt like.. 'get off the stage please'. We came here to listen to Danny, not you!! After she finished her 6th or 7th songs i cant remember, we had to wait for another 10 minutes before the real show started. My friends and i were trying to squeeze in to get the best spot and yeah we made it!! we were standing at the 3rd row from the front!! :D

When the band came out to sing their first song, all of the crowds were screaming like mad! The most surprising thing for me was, i could see lots of elderly people at the concert! Some of them were there just to accompany their children, but i can also see lots of them who were there as the biggest supporters of The Script! They were singing along with the band and cheering like others did! :) Well they were not really old as in 60s or 70s, but i could see many of them were in their 40s and 50s!

I guess the best performance by them would be 'The man who cant be moved'!!! They started the song with Danny singing the first verse with the crowds. Guess that would be the best part of the night :) At first we thought that 'TMWCBM' would be the final song, but we were wrong; it was Breakeven!!! The closing was awesome!! the band was very energetic so did the crowds!! I also really enjoyed the song 'Nothing' and 'Im yours'. Danny really can sing, man!

During the 20 minutes before the concert ended, i felt really dizzy and had to walk out of the crowd. It was very hot and crowded in there and i was very dehydrated as well. After drinking a cup of water, i felt better and yeaaayyy I managed to watch the last performance by them. Well yeah i missed 1 or 2 songs by the way :(

Anyhow, it was still a great night for all of us. Thanks to The Script for coming down to London and you guys really rocked the night!

The Script yaay! :D

thousands of crowds

My darling Danny :)

My pumpkin Mark ehem :))

Photos courtesy: Nasharil

p/s: take a look at this twitpic :DDD

a total virgin.

2011-03-25T07:00:00.005Z

tonight i will no longer be a concert virgin.

call me kampung or outdated or tak cool or whatever.

But it feels so good when you keep your virginity specially for,

this.

yaayy THE SCRIPT yaaay!!! :D

Womens Rights | Inspired by Muhammad

2011-03-20T19:33:00.002Z

Womens Rights | Inspired by Muhammad

it's worth checking :)

Note to self.

2011-03-20T19:18:00.003Z

pray on time,

and stick with religious friends,

read the Qur'an every day,

and thank Allah everyday even if it's for a few minutes.

*taken from here*

Remind me. Please. if i forgot all these.

Please.

Pusat perjumpaan warga Terendak.

2011-03-06T21:34:00.006Z

LONDON is the place!

sekecilkecik KL tu, atau Malaysia lah kan,

dekat UK ni jugak la tempat we all bereunited balik.

Padahal kat Malaysia memang sekali pun tak jumpa.

Habis sekolah je, everybody pun busy dengan part time job la,

interview sanasini la, foundation, matrik, A-level apa bagai pastu yang dapat jumpa balik pun boleh kira dengan jari kaki je, even yang terserempak pun sangatlah sikit bilangannya.

Asal lepak manamana, balikbalik muka sama. kalau tak Sara, Ira. tak pun Qaisy. Lepas tu Zack. Kuteng. Anis. memang dasar pensosialan i sangat kurang berbanding orang lain.

macam pelik jugak kan dekat UK ni lah dok jumpa warga Terendak yang sangat lah memang susah nak jumpa in Malaysia. Thanks to Allah for giving me this opportunity :')

During the first month in UK, the first Terendak student that i met was KAK IJAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Those capital letters tell you how much i missssss my KAK IJAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Frankly speaking, i tak pernah kot cakap dengan dia time kat sekolah. i was close with kak Soraya and Kak Lean (Kak Ija's bff) but not with Kak Ija. hehe. Dah datang sini excited pulak nak jumpa dia plus my mom pulak kirim my camera dekat dia so i had to see her in London and we became close since that day :')

Thanks Kak Ija for all the belanja and sleepovers plus the cupcake, pizza, croissant you yang banyak i curi, juice, etcetc hehe. You datang la sini lagi makcik!!!!!

The other person that i also met in here (apart from school time) would be AKMAR HANI which is my sweet keding BONEY! hehe. :P

i first met her during last spring where i came to London and went to Regents Park and went around London with her. She is still in London but next year i'll be leaving her sobs. Thanks to her jugak for all the belanja plus sleepovers plus travelling berdua bersama hihi! Next month i'll be seeing her again and terpaksa melayan kebimboan dia sigh :((

The 3rd person would be KAK JANNAH!!!!

i was very close with her when i was in Terendak and i miss her so muchhhh!! She was in Belgium for a couple of months doing her internship and i invited her to come to UK and datang lepak my place! :D it was soooo good to see you! sorry hunn i tak banyak sangat borak sebab i was shyshy cat sebab ada your friend sama and i takot terover pulak time tu kannnnn!! hehehe. i still remember when i was in high school, bilik dia la i selalu menyemak! oh i miss kak azrin and kak wani and kak nor and kak nenek and semualah! :( Thanks dear for coming to London and datang Portsmouth jugak :)

Kak Jannah and I in front of London's Eye :)

Last but not least would be IKHWAN aka APAH!!! :DDD punya lah excited i dapat jumpa budak jepon sorang ni!! hehe. he came to London with his friends buat eurotrip datang dari Jepon punya lah kaya raya entash berapa juta la habis tu ish bengang aku budak JPA punya lah banyak elaun dapat!!!! He gave me a keychain from Japan haha sorry eikhz kalau aku tak jaga elokelok but im sure i will ;)

SO these are all 4 people that i met in UK tapi sangat lah tak pernah jumpa in Malaysia except for Apah sebab dia balik Malaysia pon every year and rajin bersuamuka bersama kami yang tak fly sobs :'(

Now im waiting for Sara's turn together with Ira and Qaisy :(

love is blind, chait!

2011-03-03T22:04:00.004Z

im sure all of us pernah bumped into couples yang di mana lelaki nya kacak gila bagaikan wentworth miller, but the girlfriend pulak jauh jugak lah bezanya ataupun girlfriend punya tahap kehotan macam lisa surihani tapi boyfriend nya yang.... err kadang siap rambut ada ekor lagi haha if you know what i mean.

and i always wonder, what were they thinking dalam mengaccept those people in their life. eh taktak, i bukan mengutuk or pandang rendah those yang kurang hensem mahupun jelita, but honestly i selalu fikir yang they deserve someone better and i macam pelik kenapa yang itu yang nampak cantik di mata. eleh toksah tipulah yang perkara macam ni never crossed your mind kan!

tapi tu lah, beauty is subjective. tak hot di mata i tapi mungkin berbadan besar 5 kali ganda dari si lelaki kelihatan sangat hot dan comel dan gebu di mata diorang. oh i suka tengok girls yang badan besar tapi tetap stylo mylo set rambut baju hot gila plus make up segala and sangat respect sama diorang sebab sangatsangat confident which i know i tak seyakin itu. sobs.

lepastu kadang paling jahat i fikir yang the girl/ the boy would only accept their partner just because of money. contohcontoh ayat yang biasa terbisik dalam hati ialah:

confirm laki tu kaya, tu pasallah.

ataupun;

ni mesti girl tu yang banyak support ni.

hehe, the bad side of me kankankan?? :P

lagi satu yang i nampak (usually pada perempuanlah), partner diorang lebih rendah akademikya berbanding the girl. yesyes i know, jahat betol lah kan judging people by their education. tapi yang i nak point out kat sini for example; girlfriend ada degree bagai tapi boyfriend kerja kedai burger tolong member. takpun girlfriend study oversea tapi pilih boyfriend yang dropped out and kerja salesman gitu. ok please, i bukan nak pandang rendah cakap orang yang tak sambung belajar ni hina gila ke apa, seriously tak. Mak ayah saya pun tak belajar tinggi ye so no point lah kalau i nak kutuk orang tak masuk unibesiti. but bila gap tu terlalu besar, im sure ramai jugak yang akan terfikir macam apa yang i fikir kan? kankan? Sebab i selalu wonder lepas kahwin ni macammana, sure the girl's needs banyak gila plus camne the husband nak support semua.

oh mesti ada yang gelakkan i cakap- sempitnya pemikiran budak niiiiii, takpun; shallow gila lah kau. but i still remember my sister once said; cinta, cinta jugak. but duit tu tetap penting lepas kahwin. and yeah memang betol pon. i tengok dia beli susu baby 3-4 tin pon dah ratusratus.

and i also had a discussion last week with my friends. One of my girls siap cakap; cinta tak boleh bagi kau kenyang lah. haha. which for me is very true!! ehem ni kira tengah nak menghint para lelaki ( eh apasal pulak para; i mean seorang lelaki saja) supaya sila bekerja keras agar saya tak lapar harihari hehe.

well, apa yang i nak cerita kat bawah ni takdelah kena mengena sangat pun dengan apa yang i babbled above. tapi tu lah, adalah macam terkena sikitsikit at certain sides jugak.

well, ada this girl ni ( i tak berapa kenal sangat but i kenal lah but tak pernah bercakap la) she was in a relationship with this guy dah seahun ke setahun lebih ke dua tahun ke i tak ingat sangat. this girl is currently studying in UK lah and the boyfriend (which is now her ex) is studying in Malaysia dekat one of the IPGs (Institut Perguruan). They knew each other dekat maktab tu lah as they were studying di institut yang sama. Lepas girl ni fly, they were having a long distance relationship dlaam 5-6 bulan. the girl was very loyal but lelaki tu pulak hampeh dok main kayu tiga dengan perempuan lain who turned out to be a student di maktab yang sama.

Takdelah pulak i dapat informasi apa penyebabnya lelaki tu left her for another girl kan. tapi i assume mesti sebab laki tu boring girlfriend takde depan mata and tak dapat dating harihari, main mata harihari, dinner lunch samasama, gayut 24/7 etc etc. so siapa yang ada depan dia yang nampak cun pulak melayan pulak laju je lah dia sebat agaknya. ok banyak sangat tengok drama melayu i ni!

The idea of writing this entry crossed my mind sejurus selepas one of my besties said this to me:

- Ish apahallah mamat tu tinggalkan N(the girl) tu. dah cukup bagus dah dapat N tu. course pun bagus, study oversea lagi.

and i pun menokoknambah dengan berkata:

- tah, kalau dia dengan N tu freefree je dapat macammacam barang mahalmahal dari sini. Confirmconfirm girlfriend dia belikan pelbagai benda. (Well ini memang apa yang i tengok sendiri la manamana kawan i yang boyfriendnya study di Malaysia, segala jenis souvenir diberikan untuk si lelaki t- shirt perfume segala)

And i pon macam terfikir la why would a person choose other person over their girl/boy yang pada pandangan kita lebih better dari yang satu lagi itu.

Preference orang berbezabeza kan? mungkin apa yang i pilih pon tak diagree oleh other people. Love is very subjective. We have no right to decide and judge what is good and not good for other people.

Herbalife distributor :)

2011-02-24T09:38:00.003Z

i guess there is no need for me to explain what herbalife is as it is a well known brand right? ;)

but its' not like ubat/pil kurus.in fact, it is a nutritious product which needs to be consumed everyday.

You can either gain weight, or lose weight, or maintain your weight,

and even improve your health!

just buzz me on ym, pm me on facebook, or text me on my phone.

Those who are staying in UK and Malaysia are most welcome! :)

p/s: You can just google about herbalife to check on other benefits of the product.

p/s: hehe dont worry my blog is still the same and i wont write about herbalife in every post that i have lepas ni hihi :P

Valentine's day

2011-02-14T09:50:00.003Z

I just received this message in my inbox yesterday, sent by my sister in Malaysia.

Izzati, mama pesan valentines day jangan sambut, Berdosa kalau sambut. Mama kata jangan pergi valentines party ke apa. Ok. Bye.

Haha mestilah aku pun terus tergelakkan, plus apahal pulak la i nak bervalentines??

Then my sister said;
Haha mestilah mama pegi ceramah agama malam tadi. Ustaz tu pasal valentines la kut. Tu dia teringat anak dia yang jauh di negara orang putih. Haha *edited :p*

Okay comel kan? Kankankan? My mom kan?? Haha.
Alah apa sangat la nak bervalentines. Sangat la high school kedengaran. Dont worry lah ma, dah besar panjang dah masingmasing takde selera nak berhari kekasih haha.

Anyway, semalam dah cukup dua tahun. Kalau dulu aku update bulanbulan dalam blog. Kuat betol mama abah kan?
:'(

Promises are made just to be broken.

2011-02-13T09:07:00.002Z

Germany :)

2011-02-08T00:57:00.010Z

The second country that i went to during the Eurotrip with the Kelana Convoy was Germany :)

Frankly speaking, i did not really enjoy my trip there as it was quite boring except for the castle in Fussen. The souvenirs also were quite expensive but not as pricey as it was in Swiss, which i will blog about that country later! The weather also was very warm compared to Amsterdam (durh summer kot!) which is good and you will enjoy it very much during your stay there.

The first part of Germany that we set our foot on was Frankfurt. FYI, the word frankfurter comes from Frankfurt, Germany and i just realized this during my trip there. hehe see how ignorant i am :P

There's nothing much that can be seen in Frankfurt. Maybe i said this due to the lack of time and we did not have the opportunity to explore the city. But maybe if you go to the other parts of Germany you might enjoy your stay there :)

i like this buliding so much which looks like a painting for me.

After spending a few hours in Frankfurt, we continued our journey to Fussen to visit the Neuschwanstein Castle (which i really adore). This castle looks very magical to me and it was an inspiration to Mr. Disney to build the Disneyland Castle.

From the parking lot, we need to 'climb' up there for about 20-30 minutes depending on how fast you walk. But definitely we were a bunch of girls yang mengadangada siap nak naik kuda bagai mengada taknak jalan.

This is the Gatehouse of the castle. you need to pay for about 10 euros kot (kot ye i dah tak ingat berapa so i main agak je) if you want to enter the castle. However it is free if you just want to walk around dekat luarluar tu je like what we did hihi.

The other castle located near to the Neuschwanstein, which is called the Hohenschwangau Castle.

From this bridge you will be able to see both of the castles clearly :) there were a few yang tak berani nak naik the bridge sebab gayat plus memang tinggi pun.

The King (Ludwig) was found dead in the Lake Starnberg ( Im not really sure whether this is the Lake Starnberg, tak silap i ni lah kot).

The Neuschwanstein Castle. View from the bridge. :) This castle was built in 1869 and the construction was stopped around 1892, and it remains unfinished until today. More info about this castle just go to this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuschwanstein_Castle (ok terserlah weakness di sini iaitu tak reti nak hyperlink tee hee).

The lake. oh sedih because ipi and i were very excited to go boating dekat sini. sobs :'(

If you had the chance to visit Germany one day, please make sure that you put Neuschwanstein Castle in your to-go-list!!! :D

toodles! :)

If you don't know how to appreciate a woman

2011-02-05T12:13:00.003Z

please AT LEAST,

Stop hurting her.

noktah.

peringatan buat semua kaum wanita.

2011-02-03T21:02:00.003Z

iaitu termasuk saya.

oh orang lelaki juga.

Wajah yang cantik bukan sahaja perlu disertai dengan iman dan budi pekerti;

MALAH

bau badan serta kaki yang wangi.

Sekian.

P/S: sila take note ye.

Holland :)

2011-01-28T08:33:00.011Z

Okay untuk menggembirakan semula hati dan melarikan fokus tentang wang,

mari kita refresh balik memory tentang Eurotrip pada summer yang lepas. My friends and i joined the trip which was organized by the Kelana Convoy. It was a budget trip run by Malay company,and affordable especially for students who wish to travel around Europe but do not have enough time to plan for it and enough money as well. hihi.

Holland is one of the regions in Netherlands, and is divided into two provinces which are the North Holland and South Holland. The main language spoken in this country is Dutch. Unfortunately, i cant remember any difficulties speaking English with the Hollanders. Ke ada tapi i yang tak ingat sebab dah lama berbulan berzaman dah, ok tak sure.

Well, Holland is famous with their clogs, tulips, and among the guys would be... Red light district.

During our trip, we have got the chance to visit two parts of Holland which are the Volendam and also Amsterdam. Too bad for us as we did not have enough time to visit all the attractions and only went there for a sight seeing, and all the tulips have gone as it was not spring anymore.

The famous clogs

Wooden tulips

Dibawa melawat ke kedai diamond and given explanation about diamonds. Sampai sekarang i tak faham apa motif kami dibawa ke tempat sebegini dah lah mahal beriburibu mana lah nak mampu. Plus sahsah we all join budget trip, memang nampak sangat mukamuka tak mampu.

Volendam

House in Volendam :)

A city of bicycles. Where ever you go, you wont miss the chance to have a look at bicycles parked everywhere tepi jalan bawah jambatan atas jambatan semua ada and bersepah gila.

The smallest house in Amsterdam.

The buildings, houses, and the windows in Amsterdam are the best.

The famous I AmSterdam sign. Everybody was berebbutrebut

to take pictures and there were some tourists who were being very inconsiderate duduk bercamwhore berjamjam tak bagi orang lain ambik siap bergaduh with other tourists haha serious batak. oh dont worry, bukan Malaysians yang pasti :)

giant chess set in front of the Hard Rock Cafe.

So, that's it. think i want to go to Amsterdam again with my mom during next spring, just wanna show her around and all the beautiful tulips there. Ke nak gi Austria tak sure. well, this easter break i am not going anywhere, since my family would come and i will be joining them for a roadtrip around UK, Insyaallah.

toodles! :)

Ingat duduk oversea senang ke?

2011-01-27T00:29:00.006Z

mungkin bilamana kau tengok pelajar Malaysia yang duduk belajarnya di luar negara,

terus kau tanggapkan 'untungnya jadi mereka'.

mungkin ada yang sebutkan tentang

up-to-date nya gadget mereka,

cantiknya pakaian mereka,

brandednya barang mereka,

menariknya percutian mereka,

iphone, blackberry sinisana,

baju kalau setakat dibeli di primark, h&m itu ada yang pandangnya sebelah mata sahaja.

well, life is not that easy baby.

perlu aku jelaskan, kami yang duduk di sini, yang elaun yang diterima hanyalah gred c, yang sedikit pun tidak berbaloi dengan cost of living di sini,

serious aku tak mampu nak senyum sepanjang ada di tempat ni.

nak barang branded, ye boleh.

nak baju mahal, pun boleh.

nak kan telephone pintar, anytime weh.

tapinya, satu aja. ikat perot itu mesti ada.

Wang saku pasti ada pasangsurutnya.

siapasiapa yang belajar di Malaysia juga aku yakin lalui benda yang sama.

tipulah kalau PTPTN yang kamu terima itu cukup untuk dibuat belanja berjoli bersukaria.

tapi bagi aku ada satu benda ini yang cukup membezakan kita.

Jika di Malaysia, aku rasa kebanyakkannya kalau sudah kering wang di dompet, laju aja khabarkan pada bapa. pantas aja kau telefon abang kakak mintak dibelanja.

kalau pun tak dapat duaratus, saturatus, aku yakin limapuluh itu pasti ada.

Duduk di UK especially, yang currency rate nya RM5 bersamaan 1 Pound.

mari sini aku tanya kan sama kau, berapa banyak sangat yang boleh mak ayah laburkan bilamana kamikami ini sesak, duit tiada. katalah 50 pounds untuk duit makan sebulan. didarab dengan lima, RM250 perlu dihantarkan, ini pun belom ditolak charge dari bank ya.

Personally, sumpah tak sanggup untuk diminta jumlah sebegitu rupa.

Sesak macammana pun kau, aku yakin pasti tebal muka untuk meminta.

Aku tuliskan topik sebegini, sengaja mau aku kongsikan dengan semua.

Bukan mau meminta simpati atau apaapa, ini namanya sekadar bercerita. :)

Habis aja assignments dua minggu yang lalu, terus aku dan rakanrakan sibuk mencari rumah untuk tahun hadapan. Alhamdulillah, everything went well :)

Kami dapatkan rumah dekat dengan universiti, dengan harga 283 pounds setiap seorang, per month. Rumah sekarang ini sudahlah jauh dengan universiti, mahalnya pun boleh tahan 300 setiap seorang.

Problem kami sekarang ini, rumah baru yang bakal diduduki Ogos ini, harus dibayar 3 months rent in advance, garagara tiada UK guarantor. Jumlah untuk tiga bulan itu banyak ya dan harus dibayar by this March pada pihak ejen. Jangan ingat boleh dihulur not itu sambil tutup mata.

Sini calculation yang aku buat untuk segala bajet tahun ini yang buat diri sumpah nak menangis tiap hari.

Elaun yang bakal masuk Februari ini: 2600 pounds (untuk diguna pakai sehingga June).

Sewa rumah baru untuk 3 bulan: 283 x 3= 849 pounds

Deposit: 333.33 pounds

Sewa rumah sekarang (March-June): 300 x 4 = 1200 pounds

Anggaran bil telefon (Februari-June): 35 x 5 = 175 pounds

Bil internet (Februari- June): 9 x 5 = 45 pounds

Anggaran bil eletrik untuk 3 bulan : 40 pounds.

Bila dijumlahkan segala expenses sehingga June ini

849 + 333.33 + 1200 + 175+ 45 + 40

=2642.33 pounds.

Masalahnya, elaun yang bakal diterima ialah 2600 pounds sahaja. And the next allowance would be around July. Konklusinya, duit aku short 42 pounds dan ini belom ditolak duit poket, wang makan, wang berjalan, emergency apaapa ye.

Mungkin ada yang akan kata, "dah tau tak ada duit, apa lagi, pergilah cari kerja!"

cakap memang senang, ingat duduk sini anytime kau boleh ketuk kedai orang and tanya, bang ada kerja kosong tak?macam tu? plus, kelas aku pack dari monday to friday. assignments menimbun itu pasti. dengan school visitnya sekali. uurgh.

So ada siapasiapa yang boleh cadangkan mana aku nak korekkan wang makan buat alas perut menyambung nyawa untuk 5 bulan seterusnya?

tigapuluhtujuh.

2011-01-11T23:10:00.002Z

i only have thirty-seven hours left,

and 1800 perkataan yang perlu dikarang.

shoot. kill me now.

2010 :')

2011-01-03T17:26:00.006Z

Senarai kesyukuran 2010 saya. Anda semua digalakkan untuk menglistkan bersama.

Saya bersyukur dah 21 tahun saya bernafas di bumi Allah S.W.T.
Saya bersyukur nak masuk 3 semester dah lepas di Portsmouth.
Saya bersyukur tinggal 3 semester je lagi nak tamat di sini. hihi. ok padahal antara yang paling lambat habiskan degree compared dengan kawankawan sekolah lain. :(
Saya bersyukur dah banyak negara saya jejak sepanjang setahun ini.
Saya bersyukur keluarga saya masih ada sihat walafiat di rumah.
Saya bersyukur mama abah masih kuat dan bertenaga Alhamdulillah.
Saya bersyukur murah rezeki mama dapat visit saya di UK September lepas.
Saya bersyukur iphone saya sempat diselamatkan daripada di copet ketika lunch di Trafalgar.
Saya bersyukur dapat beli iphone hihi.
Saya bersyukur walapun laptop murahan jatuh berkalikali sampai bucu dia pecah, charger rosak, performance dia tetap tak menghampakan.
Saya bersyukur dengan itu tidak perlu berhabis duit beli laptop baru.
Saya bersyukur dapat bilik yang selesa walaupun rent yang mahal nya Ya Allah.
Sya bersyukur mampu lose weight summer break yang lalu. Mogamoga winter ni tidak mengembangkan lagi badan saya yang memang dah sedia kembang ni.
Saya bersyukur boxing day yang lalu saya tidak beli beg yang baru kerana q yang terlampau panjang di selfridges membantutkan niat saya dan beg yang diinginkan di Gunwharf dah sold out. Makanya dapat saya save duit dari berbelanja dan simpan untuk kegunaan masa hadapan. Ceh padahal nak sedapkan hati tak dapat beg tu.
Saya bersyukur mempunyai housemates yang cantikmolek rajin masak dan mengemas rumah memang sesuailah berhousematekan saya yang malas ni. hehe.
Saya bersyukur mempunyai kawankawan baik di Pompey yang rajin buat saya ketawa setiap hari.
Saya bersyukur dapat balik summer break hari tu dan merasa segala makanan kegemaran time raya maka takdelah kempunan sangat tak balik beraya tahun ni. okay sekali lagi ayat penyedap hati.
Saya bersyukur saya bebas dari penyakit kronik cuma batuk yang tak hentihenti lately ni.
Saya bersyukur rambut bercabang saya telah tiada.
Saya bersyukur internet UK laju teramat.
Saya bersyukur Channing Tatum dilahirkan kacak.
Saya bersyukur mempunya kulit muka yang tidak bermasalah kecuali satudua jerawat di waktu nak period.
Saya bersyukur berpeluang melihat antara 5 wonders of the world atau keajaiban dunia iaitu The leaning tower of Pisa, Colosseum, Eiffel Tower, Channel Tunnel, dan Stonehenge (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wonders_of_the_World).
Saya bersyukur dapat bermain salji buat kali kedua December yang lalu.
Saya bersyukur snowfight yang berlangsung tidak mencederakan sesiapa.
Saya bersyukur saya dah tahu buat beberapa jenis masakan.
Saya bersyukur saya dah reti buat beberapa jenis masakan. -Psst,tahu dan reti itu berbeza ya.
Saya bersyukur belum pernah kena baling ke maki hamun sumpah seranah ke, tudung kena tarik ke garagara Islamophobia di sini.
Saya bersyukur dekat UK tak ada nyamuk mahupun lalat.
Saya bersyukur rakanrakan di Malaysia rindukan saya. Eh perasan kejap ;)
Saya bersyukur mama reti caracara menggunakan skype maka boleh bervideo call harihari.
Saya bersyukur walaupun pakai broadband dekat Malaysia dan lembab dia MasyaAllah, dapat juga connect dan mampu berhubung UK-Malaysia.
Saya bersyukur duit elaun cukup makan tapi masih mampu bershopping 3 bulan sekali dan berjalan kesanasini tapi lastlast saving yillek.
Saya bersyukur library dekat university banyak buku tak macam dekat IPDA. eh eh.terlepas. :P
Saya bersyukur saya masih belum ada kemahuan untuk bermekap. Alhamdulillah tak perlu berhabis duit beli alat solek padahal bukan reti guna pun.
Saya bersyukur ada mak yang begitu concern bila saya batuk terus dia google petua menghilangkan batuk dan terus call saya di skype berkongsi petua. :')
Saya bersyukur Hermione Granger sangat cantik dalam Harry Potter.
Saya bersyukur saya bukan die hard fan twilight serta Rob-Pat lagi dah. cukuplah sekali. haha.
Saya bersyukur dapat tengok 2 musical theaters dalam masa setahun. sikit lah tu banding orang lain especially yang duduk London.
Saya bersyukur Gunwharf sentiasa ada sale :D
Saya bersyukur saya cukup anggota fizikal.
Saya bersyukur idea saya tak putusputus untuk menyambung senarai kesyukuran tapi seriously tangan dah penat.
Saya bersyukur kesedaran untuk membuat assignments masih ada tu pasallah nak stop menulis entry ini terima kasih.
Saya bersyukur kalau awak baca sampai habis.
Saya bersyukur tahun 2010 saya sangat best walaupun ada regrets here and there tapi Alhamdulillah so far okay lah :)
Saya bersyukur ini ayat last saya sebab orang semua dah boring baca.
Saya bersyukur..okay dahdah sorry. habis dah. :)

The love of my life :')

2011-01-02T04:57:00.003Z

Happy Birthday Mama.

semoga panjang umur dan murah rezeki hendaknya.

Amin.

p/s: walaupun tak pernah cakap i love you depan mama, i want you to know deep down inside, i love you with all my heart and i am nothing without you, mom :)

Belgium :)

2010-12-31T09:53:00.008Z

Ini namanya entri yang tertunggak. it was supposed to be published 7 bulan yang lalu.

my last semester finished at the end of May and i had like 3 weeks of holidays before i went for my eurotrip. Boney and i decided to go for a trip and it was our first trip together. well, it was a last minute plan. seminggu sebelum pergi baru terhegehhegeh came out with the plan. i was busy studying for my exam so semua tugas pembelian tickets and accommodation terpaksa diserahkan pada Boney yang dah free time tu tinggal masa nak balik Malaysia je. hihi.

So, disebabkan harga flight dah mahal gila sebab beli 1 week before bertolak, we decided to go to Belgium by bus. We chose Brussels and Bruges as our destinations selama 5 days tak silap.

Let's enjoy the Brussels' photos first.

The famous Manneken Pis. I dont know what is so interesting with this naked boy punya patung yang sedang pee-pee.

The Grand -Place. Guess all the European countries are famous with their squares.

Yummy! These are all the tourist waffles. Jangan terpedaya. The famous Belgian waffle hanyalah a plain waffle covered with sugar on top of it.

s all the monuments in the EU such as the Big Ben, Eiffel Tower, Parthenon in Athens, Arc de Triomphe, etc.

Let's move on to Bruges. the best part of our trip. We fell in love with Bruges so much and all the buildings sangat cantik. :)

Basilica of the Holy Blood. this chapel kononnya ada simpan blood of Jesus, brought back from the Crusades. we didnt get the chance to see it pun sebab it was not displayed. But they have this annual event where they would have this Procession of the Holy Blood and carry the relic (contains the blood) around the city.

The 30 minutes of canal tour which costs me around 4 Euros. Not bad, huh. we managed to see the smallest window in Bruges!

Toodles! :D

winter break 2010: Nice, Cannes, and Monaco

2010-12-29T07:36:00.011Z

Our first night in Nice. look at all those lights. :) This picture was taken when we were on the Ferris Wheel.

Hooray!Hooray! it's a holi-HOLIDAY!

3 weeks of break is not enough for us, especially when it is winter and you have to walk to class everyday for like 30 minutes, and come back at 7 pm, with the effing cold weather and verrrryyy windy as well. Seriously, u will feel like covering your body plus wearing purdah on your face and you cannot open your mouth or take your hands out of your pocket or even text your friends and remove your gloves as iphone tak boleh nak detect kalau you pakai glove. Plus you feel like throwing your boots away because it is not warm enough rasa nak beli UGG but your allowance memang tak cukup, and it got heels and x practical langsung to be worn to class.

Enough with the whines and complains.

Well, my trip this year did not start with a laughter. banyak menangis ada! my flight got cancelled due to the heavy snowfall. luckily, i was still in my room and managed to rebook my flight and i had to rebook the bus ticket to the airport due to the different dates. ok dah rugi sehari. sehari. lucky for me sebab accommodation is free so takdelah burn macam tu aja kan ;))

so, my flight to Nice (it is not pronounced as in 'nice' for adjective, but it is pronounced like this /nIs/) was on the Sunday morning and it was my first time travelling alone, as my friend Akmar Hani (Boney. Dont ask me why i call her that :P) took a different flight from me. As i arrived at the airport, N was there waiting for me and Boney and he took us to his hostel which is our free accommodation ;)

On our first day in Nice, we just had a sight-seeing and at night, we went to the city- centre and got amazed by the light and the Christmas decorations.

An open ice-rink. We were lucky to watch the performances by the young skaters :)

Sunny Nice. Boney and I were very surprised to see all the French people wearing thick clothes although the weather was very warm! It was 13 degree, yet they still wear bubble and trench coats! 2 ladies were surprised to see me and Boney as we didnt put our jackets on and sukahati berbaby- t kehulu kehilir and they even asked N, tanya budak duekor ni tak sejuk ke?

Lawa kan Nice kan?? Okay dear, im so going to crash your place, AGAIN! :)

Rich. very rich people.

We went to Marineland on the 3rd day and it was raining heavily!!!! Hujan lebat basah kuyup macam ni was my first experience setelah setahun lebih di UK. Marineland was awesome as they had lots of performances with the dolphins, killerwhales, sea lion, etc.

4th day: MONACO or also known as Monte Carlo. Casino royale bebeh.

This is the F1 circuit buat around the city macam ni bukan macam our sepang circuit. i yang baru tau ni rasa jakun sangat. hihi.

So , that's it. i really want to upload the pictures that i had during my eurotrip last summer. gonna find some time to upload it. toodles! :)

escapism.

2010-12-17T12:16:00.003Z

the winter break has started! we only have 3 weeks of break compared with other universities. we started the semester earlier than them, and start the break later than them. how unfair it is?!

tonight im going to the gatwick airport and spend a night there on my own. because i have a plane to catch tomorrow morning. :(

will be spending my holiday in France! oh no, not Paris again! Im going to Nice, Cannes, and Monaco! :)

well, i still haven't finished susan's work and need to settle everything before im off to france. i haven't started packing yet!!

im gonna update you guys about my trip once im back in Pompey! :)

ps: Happy holiday guys!! enjoy your winter break plus the snow as well! :D

Weirdo.

2010-12-14T12:03:00.004Z

Mengapa perlu dikata, berhijab di kepala itu adalah suatu yang pelik di mata?

Just read through a couple of comments and yeah, i am a stalker ;)

Bila disuggest agar ditutup sedikit rambut itu,
terus kau kata tidak mahu pakai pelikpelik serupa itu.

Hey, aku mengaku on-off dalam bertudung itu memang aku.
And im not the best person to write about this issue.
But i was just wondering. Sedangkan mat saleh dekat sini pun impressed dengan tudung giant 2 for rm15 aku,
Tidak pulak dia kata,"hey! you look weird with the headscarf on you!"

Masingmasing ada alasan sendiri, itu aku tahu
Tapi kalau pun tidak mahu
aku rasa tak perlu kau justify sampai sebegitu.

Ps: dont worry girl. Youre gonna look great with the hijab on. I mean we. Yeah we :)

still standing.

2010-11-24T15:59:00.003Z

i still cannot believe how a silly comment on my facebook a year ago could lead to this kind of business, today.

Selamat duabelas :)

bad girlfriend.

2010-10-30T00:22:00.004+01:00

yes, that's me.

Mama :)

2010-10-26T19:55:00.002+01:00

Age 4, we think: Mom knows everything!

At 8: Mom knows a lot.

At 12: Mom doesn't really know everything.

At 14: Mom doesn't know anything.

At 16: Mom doesn't exist.

At 18: She's old fashioned.

At 25: Maybe mom does know about this!

At 35: Before we decide let's ask mom.

At 45: I wonder what... mom thinks about this?

At 85: I wish I could ask mom about this.

Re-post if you have the best mom in the world.

mengupdate photos setelah sekian lama.

2010-10-21T08:52:00.007+01:00

Big Ben at night

Eiffel Tower :)

Musee du Louvre, Paris :)

Spinnaker Tower, Portsmouth

Cant wait for the next Spring to come.

my eldest sister, brother in law, my sister's father in law, my nephew and niece, and my sister's friend would be here Insyallah :)

back in portsmouth :)

2010-10-14T09:58:00.004+01:00

its been a month. phew. time does fly right?

the mood of blogging suddenly came and i chose to blog instead of reading susan's text which i need to present today.

new updates?

nothing much i guess.

well, im back in pompey and enjoying every moment in here.

although i have piles of work that need to be submitted this semester.

plus, lots of reading as well. the worst part is, i havent looked at the assignments yet and books that i need to refer on, in order to do my assigns.

well, my mom and sister were here 2 weeks ago. they spent their 10 days visiting portsmouth, london, paris, and scotland. i accompanied them for the whole 10 days and it was a bit tiring berjalan almost every day but to see them enjoying their vacations and shopping trips;really made my day :)

oh and i even skipped my classes for about a week and thats why i was a bit lost when i first got my handbooks for this semester.

im now staying in a 4 rooms house, in fratton. the rent is quite expensive where i have to pay 300pounds per month excluding bills. and i only have dlm 250++ pounds to survive every month.

tolak duit shopping, duit makan and saving for travelling- yillek. kosong. zero.

balik malaysia another two years without any saving pergi sekolah mengajar terpaksa jalan kaki harihari bawak bekal dari rumah tak mampu nak beli dekat kantin sekolah.

what a perfect life.

oh yes. we might probably join the nottingham games this november. our netball team will start our training on this friday. badan makin berat nak lari,lompat, kejar bola semua sure terhegehhegeh pancit apa bagai.

my life as a student is getting tougher.

i miss my first year moment. a lot of sleeping, facebooking, eating, hanging out with friends, karaoke, skyping, buang masa macam tu je, etcetc.

second year sucks. assignments mcm hapa.

everyday my class will finish at 7. jalan kaki balik rumah hari dah gelap so kena jalan cepatcepat dalam otak terbayang macammacam kes, lepastu terus jadi paranoid gila whenever ada guy walking behind me as if orang tu macam konon following me and then terus fikir if anything ever happened to me what should i do should i jerit tolongtolong! ke or helpppphelpppp! ke or just run? or maybe ketuk rumah siapasiapa asking for help.

shoot. paranoid. sangat.

financially, i am totally broke.

wahai allowance wahai KPM wahai miss fifi,

bila allowance saya nak masuk!!!! merayu ni sangatsangat.

i havent paid my bills, my handphone bill yang amount nya sangat i tak pernah capai sebab hari tu jalanjalan banyak gila pakai nk call malaysia sebab my mom rindu anak cucu plus dekat paris roaming gilagilagila punya haha.

my bank account pun serupa budak darjah satu punya account yang macam tak payah bukak account pun tak apa sebab duit pun tak ada. tsk.tsk.tsk.

kat malaysia pun tak pernah miskin macam ni.

dear my lovely brother, hilmi.

do you still remember on the day aku nak fly to uk last year during the time aku salam kau for the fist time selepas berapa belas tahun tak salam, kau pesan kat aku benda ni:

- kalau takada duit cakap tau.

ingat tak?ingat tak? ingat tak??

so.. errr... nak cakap... errr... duit tak ada ni.... *straight face*

ok bai!

quick update before going back to my kampung!

2010-09-08T15:47:00.004+01:00

Selamat Hari Raya

Maaf Zahir Batin

mungkin ramai yang akan cakap,

eleh bila nak raya je baru lah reti mintak maaf.

it might be true, tapi kalau bukan raya pun memang harihari kita harap we can forgive and forget all the mistakes that we have done to each other kan?

Raya ni lebih kurang salah satu platform untuk masingmasing buang ego buang rasa malu mintak ampun mintak maaf dekat semua.

Well, to be honest perasaan aku tiaptiap kali raya sama saja.

tak lebih.tak kurang.

tapi raya kali ni aku harap miracle will happen to me.

which is, having people that i love balik semula dengan aku. i really missed you girls. i really hope that all the mistakes that ive done will be forgiven dan kembali semula semuanya macam dulu.

and i could only wish. and pray. and hope it will become true.

Well, ada tinggal lagi lebih kurang duabelas hari sebelum aku terbang semula ke England. together with my mom and sister. dan kemudian, rutin harihari aku will be back to normal. sigh.

Happy Raya to all of you :)

-xxx-

2010-08-29T09:03:00.003+01:00

sumpah hidup makin lama makin jahanam.

Ramadhan kali ini.

2010-08-24T23:50:00.003+01:00

orang lain berebutrebut buat pahala

orang lain berebutrebut lari dari dosa

ibadah sini sana

teraweh qiamullail malammalam buta

jaga mulut makan minom anggota nafsu segala

tapi tuantuan dan puanpuan,

bukan semua ye.

ada yang pandang Ramadhan ini enteng sahaja.

ada yang jadikan Ramadhan ini sama macam bulanbulan biasa.

ada yang makin kuat bermaksiat tanpa hiraukan bulan mulia.

ada yang bertuhankan nafsu berkiblatkan dosa.

tiaptiap satu sujud aku pada Tuhan,

aku mintak ampun aku titipkan doa.

mohon disayangkan aku, dipeliharakan aku.

mohon dijaganya aku, dipahat kuatkuat iman aku.

sigh.

harihari kau bergelumang dosa,

siapa yang mahu?

tiaptiap waktu kau diselubung perasaan bersalah itu, perasaan malu sama Tuhan yang satu,

siapa yang mahu?

harihari disebutkan mahu berubah,

tapi nafsu dah sebati dengan jiwa,

langsung jadi nombor satu.

harihari dimintakkan aku agar dibuangNya satusatu titik hitam dalam jiwa,

habis aja doa, balik semula aku ke perangai lama.

Tuhan,

mohon dikasihankan aku ini.

mohon dijaga aku tiap hari.

mohon dibuang perangai buruk ini.

mohon diberkati hidup harihari.

mohon dikuat iman dalam hati.

mohon diampun dosa yang dah makin busuk dalam diri.

mohon dibelas hubungan kami.

mohon disuluh jalan, dipimpin, dipandu sampai mati.

Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

harapnya belom terlambat.

Selamat Ramadhan buat semua. :')

ha kan aku emo balik dah.

2010-07-24T03:51:00.003+01:00

serupa aku takpayah balik kalau macamni.

memang nextyear takkan balik dah.

Tanah air.

2010-07-05T22:45:00.001+01:00

Aku ada tinggal lagi cukup tigabelas jam untuk aku ciom bau England ini puaspuas.

Sebulan tanpa update.

2010-06-13T07:52:00.001+01:00

Sedang pujuk sama hati,
bawak banyak sabar, tiga minggu aja lagi :)

jangan datang dekat.

2010-05-15T14:26:00.004+01:00

nanti kena maki.

sumpah.

takada pengecualian dalam hal ni.

p/s: aku tengah emo. ini agaknya simptom nak period. ini baru period, kalau aku pregnant nanti macammana agaknya. mau sorangsorang kena abugit. nasiblah siapa jadi suami/anak/anak murid/haiwan peliharaan/jiran tetangga. aku warning awalawal.

quick update.

2010-05-13T09:51:00.003+01:00

selalu aja di facebook mahupun blog aku khabarkan rindu aku sama mama.

status aku tidak habishabis aku tujukan buat mama.

sampai kan kadangkadang terlupa abah aku masih ada.

abah, kita sayang abah. rindu kasih cinta segala. harihari buatkan sambal ikan bilis feveret kita. sama sambal sardin juga. :'))

if you asked me who the hero of my heart is,

the answer would definitely be MY DAD.

:')

formspring.me

2010-05-02T06:54:00.002+01:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/3zzat3

1st may 1989 :)

2010-05-01T14:05:00.004+01:00

sama dengan berapa ramadhan entah aku kurang pasti. but one thing for sure waktu itu memang bulan puasa :)

aku ini anugerah terakhir yang lahir dari mama dan abah. masuk hari ini, cukup duapuluhsatu tahun aku hidup di bawah nama mereka berdua. thank you mama, thank you abah :')

ini tahun pertama sambut birthday di negara orang. apa aku rasa? to be honest, tak rasa apaapa. seriously takada perasaan. semuanya biasabiasa saja.

tepat jam 1.35 am waktu Malaysia, i had a conversation with my best friend back in Malaysia. qaisyfullah jaslenda, thanks for the call and the birthday song. walaupon pitching you lari, i really appreciate that. hehe. nak menangis rasa bila ingat balik macammana u buat surprise dekat i on my birthday, last year. tapi macam sorry sangat babe because we couldnt borak much because i had to attend the netball thingy. sorryyyy time difference kaaann :)

balik dari netball, langsung terus ke bilik yuni. kumpul ramairamai buat halaqah. habis aja berbincang dapat surprise dari kawankawan. thank you korang- ipi, adlyn, yuni, tazi, tiyah, kob, and kak nik. card itu sangat lawa. samosa sangat sedap. hehe. nanti kita belajar buat samosa sama kak nik okay? :)

and then, tepat jam 7.30 am waktu malaysia, berskype pulak sama keluarga :') . at first mama tak perasan langsung yang waktu itu ialah birthday aku. borak punya lah lama, and tibatiba abah datang and wished me happy birthday. waktu itulah mama perasan yang dah masuk duapuluhsatu tahun dah dia lahirkan aku. :') thank you mama abah for the wish. and abah macam comel sangat tiaptiap kali birthday aku pasti akan keluar ayat yang sama dari mulut dia,

" hari ni umur dah berapa daaahhh?" and i would act macam budakbudak jawab soalan tu dengan menyebut nombor yang jauh lebih kecil dari sebenar. my answer pagi itu was, SIXTEEN. hehe.

berskype dengan sara pun salah satu terapi terbaik yang aku dapat. i love you babe. walaupun internet lu kodi muka aku asyik sangkutsangkut terus jadi buruk kat laptop kau pun, aku tetap nak cakap i love you. kumpullah duit weh. datang uk. kita ronggeng. :) ish, tak sempat nak tunjuk dress baru kat kau tadi.

ok jamjam berikutnya sibuk melayan facebook, reply segala komen yang masuk. thanks to all of you sebab rajin mengwish. :) dapat komen dari adikberadik buat aku jadi syahdu kejap. haha.

oh sebenarnya sudah sambut birthday itu a bit earlier. dua hari sebelum birthday dah tiup candle dah. haha. candle je lah tapi. but still, i appreciate that a lot. yeah the best part would be the candle. mana pernah orang sambut cara kita kan? hehe. thanks to you :)

see. kan aku dah kata. birthday kali ini biasabiasa saja. partyparty mungkin lain kali. im just going to have a small get together in another 2 weeks time, sama kawankawan. sebab mahu celebrate samasama ipi. nasi ayam ye sayang? hehe.

and buat kamu itu, terima kasih sebab rajin post kan card all the way from malaysia. yes, i have received the card. thanks a lot. i really appreciate that. :)

dan niat aku berdiam diri itu bukan sebab mau tunjuk sudah sombong atau mau jadi musuh atau apa. tidak. bukan. aku diam sebab aku tak mau kasi harapan. naikkan harapan. beri harapan. i am so sorry for how i behaved. but i think this is the best way untuk kamu pandang ke hadapan. jalan terus tanpa perlu pusingpusing ke belakang.

mas, i know you're reading this. so please treat me with alll these balik nanti. terima kasih :D

2010-04-28T23:32:00.005+01:00

tengahtengah nak exam ni, perot mula mengada mintak macammacam. haha. okay ayat macam orang pregnant kan.

ini malam, i am busy doing some notes for my japanese paper next week.

waktuwaktu ni jugak la tertengok gambar kawankawan kat facebook makan kfc kat kedah.

secara jujurnya, aku tak pernah jadi die hard fan kfc pun. kfc will be the last place for me to go untuk makan. haha. tapi, hari ni first time aku macam mengagungkan gila kfc.

darn, i really want to have the wing. zinger burger. and cheesy wedges itu pasti. writing these lines pon dah buat aku terliurliur.

bang, wedges tu kasi extra cheese and mayo ye. tsk.

okay. beralih pula kita kepada mcd.o.n.a.l.d.s.

benda wajib aku order sesampainya di airport nanti, would be mcchicken. big mac.fries yang large punya. choc. sundae. apple pie. mind my tummy. haha. kalau lah time tu musim CNY, konfemkonfem aku order prosperity harihari. pastu nak order bubur ayam dia jugak.

tak kira. nak muntah pon muntah lah. janji puas. aaaaaaa!

last but not least, aku mengidam nak makan mamak.

kita kecilkan skop kepada cheese naan dengan tandoori. naan tu kasi double ae cheese dia.

kepada mamakmamak di kj (fariz maju especially), nantikan kemunculan ku.

oh tak lupa juga pada kayu, aku nak order roti tisu siapsiap. dengan limau ais please?

pengajaran buat semua,

samasama lah hargai makanan dekat malaysia. isk.

chopchop!! lupa nak sampaikan penghargaan pada dominos. kepada pihak pengurusan dominos, pastikan chicken wing lu cukup untuk wa makan balik ni. dengan pepperoni pizza tu sekali. nak thin crust ok.

soalan 1.

2010-04-22T19:02:00.004+01:00

rasa happy sangat, sampai termenangis.

pernah tak jadi dekat korang?

neither can live while the other survives.

2010-04-18T07:16:00.003+01:00

List the books in order from your favourite to your least favourite.

1. Prisoner of Azkaban
2. Deathly Hallows
3. Chamber of Secrets
4. Goblet of Fire
5. Philosopher’s Stone
6. Half Blood Prince
7. Order of Phoenix

the movies in order from your favourite to your least favourite.

1. Goblet of Fire

2. Chamber of Secrets

3. Philosopher's stone

4. Prisoner of Azkaban

5. Order of Phoenix

6. Half-blood Prince

Top 5 favourite characters?

1. Hermione Granger

2. Fred & George

3. Dumbledore

4. Luna “Loony” Lovegood

5. oliver wood. ehem ehem ;)

Five least favorite characters?

1. Draco Malfoy

2. Voldemort

3. Rita Skeeter

4. Dolores Umbridge

5. Percy Weasley

Three favorite spells?

1. Alohamora

2. Avada Kedavra

3. Expecto Patronum.

Three favorite potions?

1. Felix Felicis

2. love potion

3. Veritaserum

Favourite member of the Golden Trio? Hermione!

Favourite family? Weasley

Favourite antagonist? Bellatrix Lestrange

Favourite death eater? Bellatirx Lestrange

Favourite chapter from your favorite book? i could only remember one chapter which is- The Burrows.

Favourite non-Hogwarts magical building? Ollivander’s

Favourite Diagon Alley shop? Weasley’s Wzarding Wheezes

Favourite Hogsmeade shop? The Three Broomsticks

Favourite Unforgivable Curse? The Killing Curse

Favourite mode of wizard transportation? Flying!

Favourite Weasley? Fred & George :D

Favourite Order member? Sirius Black

Favourite DA member? Luna Lovegood

Favourite pet? Crookshanks!!

Favourite Hogwarts room? Gryffindor common room

Favourite Hogwarts professor? Gilderoy Lockhart. okay kidding.Remus Lupin of course :D

Favourite non-human Hogwarts resident? Nearly Headless Nick

Favourite Tri-Wizard champion? Cedric Diggory.

Favourite house elf? Dobby. Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby! He is pretty annoying sometimes.

Favourite wizard sweet? Chocolate frogs

Favourite friendship? The Dumbledore Army :')

Biggest surprise of the series? Snape was actually in Dumbledore's team

Biggest letdown of the series? Dumbledore, Fred, Tonks, and Lupin got killed. :'(

One character you wish lived? Fred Weasley

Your patronus would be a? An otter, just like Hermione's. woh. perasan! haha.

You would use Felix Felicis to? pass for exams.

Ron/Hermione or Harry/Hermione? Harry/Hermione. i dont know why i dont like Ron. Maybe because he always envied Harry kot.

James/Lily or Snape/Lily? James/Lily. no way for snape to be with lily!!

Do you think Harry Potter is better than Twilight? Obviously! Twilight? love scenes here and there? uurh lame.

Are you going to go see the Deathly Hallows Pt. 1 in theaters? OF COURSE!!!! what a question you have here.

Do you own the books/movies? books :)

Have you ever played any of the video games? Yeah.

Don’t they kind of suck? it depends. hihi

Which house would you want to be in? gryffindor baby :)

Do you like Draco? i hate him. and his father too. and his girlfriend as well.

Would you ever enter the Tri-Wizard Tournament? hell no. i would probably be drowning in the lake nanti.

Would you keep your money in Gringotts? Yes.

What class would be your favourite? Defence against the dark arts. but i dont want that stupid Umbridge to be my teacher!

Do you think you would enjoy being a witch/wizard? YES YES YES!

Actor(s) most like the book character: Bellatrix

Actor(s) least like the book character: Cant think of any.

Favourite movie set: The whole of Hogwarts.

Favourite movie scene: The arrival of Hermione during the Yule Ball. gorgeous! :)

Favourite scene in the movies not included in the books: The one where Bellatrix and Greyback attacked The Burrow. i hate this scene because it was totally made up. but the scene was cool tho.

Scene you were most disappointed didn’t make it into the movie: The battle at Hogwarts when the Death Eaters broke in Hogwarts. sengal tak buat.

Death Eaters or Dumbledore’s Army?: Dumbledore’s Army

The Ministry of Magic or Gringotts?: Ministry of Magic

Sirius or Lupin?: Sirius

Occlumency or Legilimency?: Occlumency

Animagus or metamorphagus?: Animagus

Mermish or Parselmouth?: Parselmouth.

Draco or Lucius?: neither.

Peter Pettigrew or Mundungus Fletcher?: Mundungus Fletcher.

Whomping Willow or flying Ford Anglia?: Ford Anglia

Invisibility cloak or Pensieve?: Invisibility Cloak

Grimmauld Place or the Burrow?: the Burrow

Werewolf or Inferi?: Werewolf

Herbology or Care of Magical Creatures?: Magical Creatures

Professor Binns or Professor Umbridge?:umbridge? hell no.

Peeves or Nearly Headless Nick?: Nearly Headless Nick

Hippogriff or Thestrals?: Hippogriff

Durmstrang or Beauxbatons?: Beauxbatons

S.P.E.W. or the Inquisitorial Squad?: S.P.E.W

Portkey or Apparation?: Apparation

adlyn; i supposed were not going to be in the same house.the sorting hat is sooo going to put me in Gryffindor! :D

ps: yeah you. im tagging you, hermione granger!

dont have to put label on it.

2010-04-15T15:16:00.002+01:00

agreed.

best kan bila rasa macam ini :)

2010-04-11T15:00:00.003+01:00

kupukupu dalam perut.

dah berbulan aku rasa ini. hehe

kalau mahu berurusan sama aku;

2010-04-09T20:16:00.004+01:00

sila jangan guna perkataanperkataan ini.

mamamz/ mam

jewww

kewww

nyeww

ituww

cikit

cangat

cakit

tatowt

muncit

ciap

caye

kitew

ahaks

boley/boye

mish

cedeyh

copping

nanak

cenyum

takowt

cangat

windu

cayang

ecaimen

fwenz

maceh

cemoga

wink wink

dushh dushh

and also wawen as for kahwin. (found this on facebook)-whatthehell??

serta all the c words and w words yang malas dah aku nak fikir.

penat okay nak list down semua perkataanperkataan ni.

semangat aku check all the status on facebook kat pagepage orang.

kalau umur kau baru 6 tahun, nak cakap pelatpelat macam ini, or should i say babytalk lah kan; satu hal lah jugak. ini semua kat facebook tu dah habis sekolah, cakap nak macam ni lagi apa kes.

okay. paling aku tak boleh blah, kalau lelaki yang cakap macam ni. hantar ym ke komen ke,

-awak da mamamz?

WHATTHEHELL? ingat aku budak tadika? or fikir habis comel lah conversation tu? kita bukan budak sekolah lagi lah untuk use all this kind of language.

yes, i do admit that my friends and i pernah balasbalas komen guna ayat macam ini. sebab apa? sebab sakit hati sangat baca ayatayat macam ini and saja sukasuka mengstresskan diri sesama kami dengan buat ayatayat macam ini. bagi member rasa annoyed. haha. herotherot mulut bila baca ayatayat macam ni. penat okay nak fikir macammana nak buat ayat.

aish. sudahsudah lah guna words macam ini.

serious tak cool wa cakap lu. ;)

ireland :)

2010-04-01T15:53:00.010+01:00

a man (king) was murdered by his wife. he was being pushed from the window.

cliffs of moher :)

crossing the bridge (made by fishermen) to get on the other island. :)

the giant's face (one of the irish tales)

trinity college in dublin (for medical students. dengkidengki.)

bank of ireland. building nak lawa je. ish.

ok. bye ireland! :)

asal pulang dari bercuti aja pasti ini yang jadi.

2010-03-30T09:25:00.003+01:00

dublin-galway-belfast-dublin

hujan-matahari-sejuknakmati-hujan-matahari

demam-seseme-demam-seseme-demam

plus pening and nak muntah.

aku ada school visit esok. mohon dapat jadi lebih kuat.

untuk bangun mandi sekarang ini pun aku sumpah tak larat.

demm.

Online shopping drives me crazy.

2010-03-24T12:19:00.004Z

what i REALLY need right now:

- a new pair of converse

- a new floral dress

- a new brown leather jacket

- a new pair of brown boots

- a new handbag

- a new pair of jeans

- a ticket, eh two tickets to watch mamma mia the musical

oh, and a verrryy big hug.

chop!!!!

serta sambal ikan bilis abah.

:'(

nampak tu aku tulis really siap besarkan lagi. maknanya memang betolbetol perlukan lah tu. sila tolong jangan bawak main sama hati dengan perasaan aku. tsk. :'(

cepat cepat cepat

2010-03-23T10:56:00.005Z

cepatlah report siap.

cepatlah jumaat sampai.

cepatlah empat hari ini tamat.

cepatlah rambut kerat.

cepatlah habis kelas.

cepatlah ticket tempah.

cepatlah bunga kembang.

cepatlah summer datang.

jumaat ini,

ireland, here i come! :)

lagi satu minggu,

london, sini saya datang! :)

oh lagi satu.

tiga bulan lagi,

Malaysia, saya pulang :)

harap sangat jadi tengok mamma mia.

amin. :)

kata mama,'' dari bertelefon, skype sajalah terus. gunakan kemudahan yang ada''.

2010-03-16T22:58:00.007Z

kalau boleh

semua konversasi kita

saya nak lipatkan kemaskemas

selit terus dalam otak.

supaya tiaptiap satu koma pun dapat saya ingat.

a.k.a.l.a.

2010-03-14T14:56:00.002Z

awak,

saya makan tanpa henti.

tak apa kan?

heee ;)

entryentry begini aku pasti blur untuk letak tajuk.

2010-02-26T09:19:00.005Z

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

pernah tak kau rasa geli dengan diri sendiri?

macam tibatiba kau teringat apa sahaja benda buruk yang kau pernah buat.

macam dalam otak kau tibatiba tergambar semua benda jijik yang kau pernah hadap.

lepastu tibatiba kau rasa meremang dan pantas kau gosokkan belakang tengkuk kau.

aku sebenarnya tak sanggup nak ingat.

bila semua itu dimainkan balik dalam kepala kau,

kau hentak kuat mana pun kepala itu pasti tak kan berhenti apa yang dimainkan.

bila difikirfikirkan balik

bodoh sangat aku ini

kotor sangat

hina sangat

weh. malu weh.

kalau satu dunia ini boleh tau apa yang aku fikir

ya Allah, memang pakai plastic bag je lah aku jalan tutup muka.

siot lah setan,

hasut aku macammacam.

haha. salahkan setan pulak. dah itu memang kerja dia.

aku ni yang bodoh ada akal pun still nak ikutkan saja.

aku mintak sama Tuhan ( yakni Allah SWT ye? nanti ada lagi yang bising maki aku sebab guna perkataan Tuhan.)

aku rayu sama Dia,

mintak buang kan saja segala cerita busuk aku dulu itu.

kenapalah bodoh sangat aku ini jadi serupa itu.

haih.

ah, jangan pulak ada yang nak condemn aku katakan aku macammacam

kononkonon nak buatbuat insaf ke tunjuk baik ke atau katakan memang aku ini makhluk paling hina.

aku bukan tunjuk baik atau apaapa saja.

ini bukan juga aku maklumkan pada semua

yang aku ini sudah insaf tidak akan buat dosa

akan pakai tudung tutup segala

ini namanya berkongsi apa yang aku rasa, faham?

ini ruang aku, faham?

lagi satu, kau pun bukan baik sangat untuk judge aku apaapa.

ingat. dosa kau tetap ada. kalau bukan sama Tuhan, mungkin sama manusia.

dudukduduk sambil terfikir,''kan menarik kalau kita boleh turn back time''.

2010-02-20T16:31:00.005Z

kalau boleh kan

aku mau balik pada zaman dulu

zaman anakanak

zaman sekolah rendah

yang kerja paling hebat perlu kau buat di zaman itu ialah

selesaikan operasai tambahtolakdarabbahagi

sifir sebelasduabelas

buat file dari kad manila di waktu pendidikan seni

belajar tentang graham bell, henry ford dan adik beradik wright

takpun

hafal hafal rukun islam rukun iman atau tarikh kelahiran nabi waktu pendidikan islam.

selebihnya,

beratur, eh berebutrebut beli keropok lekor, burger, nasi lemak, aiskrim kacang, air sarsi limaposen di kantin sekolah

kau main pepsi-cola sama rakanrakan di waktu rehat sampai hitamhitam habis kasut semua orang sampai boleh buat gadoh sebab kotorkan kasut kawan. heh.

main sep tiang, lubang tikus, kejarkejar, tingting sekitar sekolah

atau mungkin paling up pun,

main happy family, uno, saidina, speed, atau battleship dalam kelas lepas habis periksa.

waktu petang terus tukar kain hijau pergi sekolah agama

belajar hukum tajwid apa itu ikhfak apa itu izhar apa itu iqlab

belajar bahasa arab wahidun isnani salasa, fiil madhi mudhorik amar

belajar sirah perang badar perang uhud perang khandaq

belajar akhlak, fiqah segala.

tapi bila sampai waktu solat asar berjemaah,

lari ramairamai menyorok dalam toilet atau belakang pintu kelas takpun tipu pengawas ustaz usazah kata uzur lah konon sematamata mahu skip solat jemaah sebab malas nak berkejar takot miss bas.

balik rumah,

habis saja solat maghrib terus siapsiap pergi tuition pukul 10 abah tunggu ambik bawak balik.

mengadangada darjah lima lagi gatal mintak nak tuition padahal bukannya susah sangat pon kelas waktu tu.

kalau tak pun, lepas maghrib terus duduk dekat meja, bukak buku sekolah, buat homework, revision, buat latihan dalam buku upsr didik sambil mama serve kan air milo duduk teman sekali dekat tepi :')

hari sabtu,

bangun awal excited nak ke gerko

sebab waktu itulah yang sangat terbaik untuk lepak have fun sama kawankawan

habis aja gerko,

pasti lari ke rumah jeehan lepak dalam bilik tak pun pasang cd how to dance menari ramairamai dekat ruang tamu depan tv. :')

paling aku ingat, dalam cd tu ada dia ajar menari lagu crazy by britney spears dan genie in a bottle by christina.

kalau tak pun, lepak rumah farah atau deedee melayan movie atau makanmakan atau lepak aja dekat padang ss5 ramairamai.

wah, baru darjah lima darjah enam dah pandai! haha.

tapi paling best ramairamai ke rumah naqiah, mandi swimming pool dekat situ :D

petangpetang

lari terus ke padang jumpa kawankawan ss4a

main getah ramairamai

ayus, ular kecik, ular besar, gunting, blablabla

main lubang tikus, panjat pokok siap letak bantal gayutgayut baringbaring atas tu

paling menarik, main galah panjang dekat court campor laki perempuan.

and paling aku ingat, ibu yang paling hebat zaman tu was eizlan :D

kalau balik rumah waktu sedang maghrib,

pasti pintu rumah dah berkunci abah saja kurung kami luar rumah dalam duatiga minit.

rancangan tv paling menarik haruslah thunder cat, power rangers, usop sontorian, doraemon.

sampai beranganrangan nak jadi kimberly si power rangers pink itu.

tapi tepat pukul 7.30 aja, masingmasing sudah tau yang tv itu harus ditutup kalau tak mau dimarahi abah.

zamanzaman itu,

kepala kau sikit pun tak berat

hati kau sikit pun tak sesak.

masalah paling besar kau pernah ada mungkin duit tak cukup untuk beli keropok lekor atau aiskrim balik sekolah.

takpun, menangisnangis kurang bijak dalam selesaikan masalah pecahan wajar tak wajar kau itu.

best kan jadi kanakkanak?

tak perlu fikirkan assignment yang melambak

tak perlu fikirkan soal konflik sama rakan

tak perlu fikirkan duit cukup atau tak

tak perlu fikirkan mana yang betul atau tidak.

tigabelasharibulanduaduaribusembilan

2010-02-16T00:42:00.003Z

ya. tarikh itu, mana mungkin aku lupa.

mana mungkin mama, abah, ayong, kakak dan abemi lupa.

mana mungkin saat aku received phone call itu dari mama aku lupa.

mana mungkin waktu aku ke brinchang sama adikberadik sedara mara demi bagi support pada mama and abah yang dua minggu stay di sana, aku lupa.

mana mungkin dalam duabelas bulan ini setiap air mata mama yang jatuh boleh aku lupa.

sekejap aja sudah duabelas purnama semuanya.

mama abah kuat amat.

maka kita adikberadik pun harus kuat juga ok?

sini aku quote ayat dari ayong. ayat yang buat aku nangis bagai nak gila dalam kain sembahyang malam tadi.

- a whole year has gone by without u. ur nephew is getting bigger and cheekier than the last time u saw him. where ever u r.. watever u do pls know tat we r waiting n hoping for u to come home..always. :(

yes. Insyaallah, we will never stop praying for you to come back.

lekas pulang. kami tunggu.

:'(

ini post tentang famili :')

2010-02-15T23:34:00.007Z

i know its already late tapi still nak letak jugak dalam ni. hihi.

i wanna wish a very happy birthday (belated) to my brother (08/01) and my sister (06/02) !!

well, last year, i had wished my brother on a wrong date!!

one of my best friends' (fara) birthday is on the 7th of january. Eversince i was in primary school, i always got confused with fara's and my brother's birthday; which one comes first and which one comes next.

Well, on last year i had made this terrible mistake. i called my brother on the 7th of january (12 am) and wished him happy birthday dengan suara yang begitu excited.

he then laughed at me and said- wei, arini bukan birthday aku lah!

okay, itu memang malu gila and untuk mengcover malu tersebut i apologized to him and laughed at myself and quickly ended the call.

on the very next day, akibat dah termalu sangat, i didnt call him at all on his birthday. i only smsed him and wished him happy birthday.

macammana lah boleh tersilap birthday abang sendiri. haih.

Dengan my sister pon i ada buat silap jugak.

When i was in standard 3, my teacher asked me and the rest of the class to write things about our family; some sort like biodata thingy.

When i was writing about my sister, i wanted to write on her birthday. however, as i was very young during that time, i couldnt remember when is her birthday and felt very shy to ask her plus im afraid she will scold me as i couldnt remember my own sister's birthday.

What i did was- membelasah aja letak manamana tarikh yang agakagak menarik as my sister's birthday dengan harapan tidak kantoi sebab tak mungkin kakak aku rajin nak cek buku sekolah aku kan.

After i finished doing my work, i left my book on the table and forgot to keep it inside my bag.

all of a sudden, i heard my sister shouting my name out loud and then said - birthday ayong ENAM HARIBULAN DUA LA!! well, nasib baik la i was just a kid time tu so tak dapat la nak marahmarah sangat kan. hihi.

tapi takapa, hikmahnya up until today i tak pernah lupa birthday dia. :)

inilah wajah kedua orangtua (orang yang dah tua).

abemi with ashaz :)

ayong, abang agoy and ashaz :)

selamat tua semua :)

totally broke.

2010-02-12T08:04:00.003Z

dalam kelas sama corney semalam, aku start buat budget untuk tahun ni.

all this while, duit aku memang cukup. i mean, terlebih dari cukup.

siap dah plan dah this march nak angkat 3gs. hihi.

however, few weeks ago, my mother called me and asked me to go back for this raya.

selama ini memang semua orang tahu yang aku memang tak mau pulang untuk summer kali ini.

lepas dapat phone call dari mama, and dia insist me to go back siap nak bayar kan ticket flight, mana mampu aku say no. bukan say no pada ticket flight itu, tapi say no pada balik ke malaysia.

ticket ke malaysia bukan nya murah macam ticket dari alor star ke kl. takkan lah aku sanggup biarkan mama bayar 3-4k itu. dari situ aku sedar yang;

darn, lari budget aku kali ni. flight ticket to malaysia, plus barangan untuk family.

memang seriously, budget aku lari.

so, yesterday, setelah dicalculate segala benda

- hall rent, deposit rumah, flight ticket, eurotrip, stuff for family, etc etc, duit aku hanya tinggal 800 pounds untuk diguna pakai hingga june ini.

yang family itu pun hanya merangkumi mama, abah, ayong, abang agoy, kakak, abemi, ashaz, and the unborn baby.

there goes all my savings.

what i mean by all, is all. seriously-

all.

kiranya, balik malaysia nanti aku memang broke dan terpaksa tunggu the next allowance iaitu on july pulak.

so, pada siapasiapa yang mengharapkan souvenir apa jadah itu semua, terus terang aku cakapkan duit aku memang tak ada. haha. okay jujur gila.

jangan kata rakanrakan. sepupusepapat pun jangan lah berharap nak dapat apaapa dari aku.

and starting from today, aku kena tahan kan segala nafsu belibelah aku itu kalau rasarasa tak mau makan cucur harihari.

and there goes my 3gs.

:'(

i want it soooooo bad.

soooooooooo bad.

kalau korang tengok keadaan fon aku sekarang pun, sure korang simpati. haha.

seriously mengharapkan ifon turun dari langit malam birthday aku nanti. tak pun tibatiba je ada bawah bantal bila aku bangun pagi.

something to be shared :)

2010-01-23T18:09:00.003Z

Woman was made from the rib of man,
She was not created from his head to top him,
Nor from his feet to be stepped upon,

She was made from his side to be close to him,
From beneath his arm to be protected by him,
Near his heart to be loved by him

:')

just got this from my cousin's page.
if you're reading this i nak bagitau i nak curik tau.hihi.

aku benarbenar perlukan free pilates lesson, please.

2010-01-18T21:26:00.006Z

jika kau terlihatkan seorang gadis dalam lingkungan awal 20-an

berwajah sedikit pucat

dengan black head, white head, apa segala macam head di hidung dan muka,

sekali dengan eyebag yang maha jelas di keliling mata,

dan juga double chin yang bakal menakluki wajahnya,

serta perut yang agak kehadapan sedikit berserta dengan lebihanlebihan daging atau mungkin lemak barangkali pada tiaptiap belah sisi pinggangnya

berpakaian jeans yang maha ketat di peha especially, di mana sedikit angin atau seekor semut pun tidak bisa melalui lagi

kau datang dekat padanya dan say 'hi' terus pada nya tanpa rasa segan atau malu.

kerana aku pasti

itu adalah aku.

1 down, zillions to go. sigh

2010-01-12T19:34:00.007Z

ok dah. no more post like the previous one. nanti ada orang kata i nak poyo kononkonon bajet innocentlah apalah kan. heh. padahal bukan aku cakap aku baik alim ke apa kan.

well,

lets start a new chapter then.

im going to be a bit busy this month. as a i have lots of assignments need to be submitted and need to sit for exams. *sighsighsigh*

although we have been busy with our studies (chewah busy la sangat padahal harihari facebooking mana tak busy buat keje last minute memang padan muka lah kan), kami masih sempat untuk bermain salji dan membuat sushi for the first time.

punya lah mengidam sushi kan. sanggup carik seaweed, beras, apa semua.

thanks girlfriends :)

pisa pon tak sesenget ni.

bila winter nak habis ni. im tired of walking on the ice harihari nak tergolek dah macam main iceskating tahu.

2010-01-02T15:14:00.004Z

When i heard about one of my besties' new year's resolution- which she wants to cover her aurah; really made me feel ashamed of myself.

well, ive never mentioned about this before in my blog. because i guess this matter is very personal and its going to be hard for me to explain to others and lots of people will simply judge me i know.

okay i know. covering our aurah and wearing hijab ialah satu benda yang wajib. semua orang tau fakta itu. dari kecil aku sudah dengar tentang wajibnya menutup aurat.

i cannot comment on why people do not want to cover their aurah. sebab nya aku pon tergolong dalam kumpulan itu.

and i dont know whether i should or should not explain it here kenapa i dont want to wear hijab sedangkan i know wajibnya benda itu.

sebab nya apa saja alasan aku, i bet pasti semua akan balas dan attack aku balik habishabisan sebab memang tak ada alasan lagi dah untuk menidakkan benda itu.

tapi memang betol. i cannot deny the fact that i still dont want to wear hijab, is because im not ready yet.

aku tau. ready tak ready tu belakang kira.

tapi, im weak. im human. and im not like you guys yang kuat and boleh lawan segala nafsu apa jadah tu semua. banyak weyh dugaan.

aku sumpah tabik pada manamana perempuan yang betulbetul menjaga aurahnya.

pakai tudung tutup dada, baju seluar longgarlonggar, tutup aurah betulbetol.

okay. aku belom capai tahap itu. i know.

but the truth is, i really want to be like them. bila itu, aku pun tak tahu. aku takut kalau aku berazam sekarang, bulan depan hilang segala azam yang aku canangkan itu. sumpah aku paling takut yang itu.

i feel so sorry to my parents sebab aku ini seperti ini. aku bukan seperti anak yang diorang harapkan. mama pun bilang sama aku tadi- haisy awak ni serupa biskut. sekejap pakai, sekejap tidak. hehe.

well, banyak sangat benda dah buat behind them. tapi mak ayah pasti dapat agak anak dia ini banyak dah buat silap.

tapi aku yakin bukan aku seorang aje yang dah buat silap kan. semua pun pasti face the same thing macam aku. cuma mungkin perkaranya yang kau dah buat itu berbezabeza lah.

entahlah. i have so many things inside my mind. but i dont know how to put my feelings and thoughts into words. aku takut tersilap cakap and takut akan what would people say about me nanti.

tapi itulah, aku tulis pasal ni hari ni, sebabnya entah. sebab benda ni yang aku terfikir tadi. and aku tak tahu sama siapa aku mahu bincangkan. been trying to call sara banyak kali, tak dapat pulak kan :(

okay lah. itu aja. banyak lagi tapi biar simpan dalam hati saja lah. bai korang ;))